Running Away
by LoquaciousLilLovely
Summary: Bella Shephard has it all: rich family, popularity, and great friends. Then one day, she's kidnapped and raped by a vampire, James. When she escapes, she's sent to live in Forks for her safety, where she meets the Cullens, who permanently change her life
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

My name is Isabella Sophia Shephard, but I go by Bella. I'm 17 years old. With my 5' 3'' thin, curvy body, great boobs, waist-length mahogany hair, flawless skin, and perfectly manicured nails, I am considered beautiful. I live in Los Angeles with my mom, Renee, and my stepfather, Phil. My stepfather is very rich, and we live in a mansion with butlers, maids, chefs, and an assortment of other hired staff. My mom owns a very chic and expensive clothing store called Fitted, which is pretty cool for me because I get all my totally fabulous clothes for free! I have lots of great friends at my private school, I get perfect grades, I'm captain of the cheerleaders, and I have the most incredible boyfriend named Dylan. My life was near perfect until one day it all went to hell in a handbasket, as my grandma would say...

It started out as a normal day. After I took a shower in my private bathroom, I went into my attached walk-in closet and selected a pair of very flattering dark skinny jeans, a turquoise cashmere long-sleeved and low-necked minidress with a really cute leather belt that cinched it at the waist, and some knee high leather boots that went perfectly with the belt. Unconsciously, I had coordinated the outfit to match the bracelet that had been on my wrist since I was 12, the one that I tried hard not to think about, yet rarely succeeded, the one that consisted of rings all looped together and made purely of expensive silver with diamonds embedded in each of the ringlets, the one that was engraved with the letters "FIMT," the one that caused me pain every time I looked at it. Almost involuntarily, I found myself transported back in time to that awful event...

_ I was sitting on the swingset at the park with my two best friends, Jacob and Jasmine, who we called Jazz. We were all acting silly, singing Lady Gaga songs at the top of our lungs and laughing while we swung sideways, bumping into each other. Then it started raining, so we looked at each other, and then simultaneously leaped out of our swings and started spinning around together in the falling drops of rain. This was a tradition that we had honored together ever since we could walk. When it finally stopped we all plopped down on the ground, me with my head in Jacob's lap, and Jasmine with her head resting on my stomach. _

"_I'm tired," Jasmine sighed. _

"_Me, too," I remarked._

"_Ditto," Jake laughed. _

_ It had been like this since we had met each other. We weren't really three friends, but more of a whole being made up of three parts. The abandoned office building that we liked to hang out in was just a couple of blocks away, so we decided to go there. Jacob was complaining because Jazz didn't want to walk the whole way and had insisted that he carry her. I laughed, and then he told me that if I found it so amusing, I should carry her. After teasingly sticking my tongue out at him, I stood next to him as she slid from his back to mine. Once we were there, we decided to do some exploring, which led to climbing the stairs to the fifth floor. Jazz found a door that we soon discovered was an elevator. When the light above the doors came on, we were shocked to find that it still worked. _

_Jacob and I looked at each other and shouted, "LET'S DO IT!"_

"_What if it's dangerous?" Jazzy moaned._

"_Oh, come on. It's just an elevator! What's it gonna do, swallow us up?" We were saying to her._

_ She finally consented, but we still had to practically drag her inside it. We pushed all of the buttons and squealed as the doors slid closed. We made it to the 12th floor before it happened. The elevator jerked violently and started plummeting downward. We all screamed our lungs out, but no help came. When we hit the bottom, the impact jarred the teeth in my skull and sent debris and pieces of the elevator's roof raining down on us. I whimpered and called out to Jazzy and Jacob. _

"_I'm okay," Jacob croaked. "Jazz?"_

_No reply._

"_Jasmine! Are you okay?" I nearly yelled. Then I sucked in a shocked gasp when I forced myself up and saw that a large chunk of the elevator had crashed down on her head. She was still breathing, but not for long. "JACOB!"_

"_OH, MY GOD! JASMINE!" He screamed. "NO! You can't die! You can't leave us!"_

"_Don't worry. I'll see you again someday." She whispered hoarsely. "It's okay."_

"_No! Please don't die, Jasmine!" I wailed. "Just hang in there and we'll get an ambulance!" Even as I said this, I knew it would never make it in time, even if we could somehow make it up to the ground level._

"_It's my time. I have to. I wish I didn't, but I have to. Just promise me one thing, both of you."_

"_Yes, anything!" We both cried._

"_Just remember to live each day like it was your last. Remember that each day is a gift. And please, don't forget me." Jasmine spoke so softly I had to strain to hear her._

"_Jasmine, we won't ever forget you as long as we live. I swear." Jacob lowered his head as he said this, but looked her right in the eye._

"_Never! We couldn't! You are our best friend and you'll always be that. I love you." I whispered, with tears pouring down my face._

"_Me, too," said Jacob._

"_I love you both, and you'll always be my bestest friends, too." She replied. Then her breathing slowed and gradually came to a stop. Jacob and I hugged her blood-soaked body and cried. I don't know for how long, but when we eventually quieted, we both took deep breaths and started digging our way out of the horrible chamber of death that we had gotten trapped in._

I felt a tear trickle down my face before I could stop it. I felt so guilty! If I just hadn't pressured Jazzy into getting in the elevator, she would be alive today. I knew Jacob felt the same. He had the male version of the same bracelet I was wearing, and neither of us had taken it off since we got them. They made us feel more like we were honoring our promise to never forget her, though I didn't really need it, as I thought about her nearly every day. Jacob and I had slit our wrists together and swore that we would never forget her, ever. After giving that blood oath, the scar that remained marked us physically and ensured that she was always in our thoughts.

"Pull yourself together, Bella!" I hissed at myself. Then I turned to finish getting ready for school.

**8 Hours Later**

I stepped out of my silver Porsche Carrera GT. It was a 16th birthday present from my parents, and I absolutely loved it! I was at Starbucks, and desperately needed a large fat-free cappuccino with extra foam. After ordering, I grabbed my drink, threw some money on the counter, and then took a long, wonderful sip of it. The cashier, Melinda, laughed. I knew all the staff here because I was a regular, and they all knew how I was practically addicted to coffee. I smiled at her, and then picked my way through all the college kids to get to the door.

When I was outside, I glanced around and noticed a man that I had seen several times in the past few weeks. He was about 6' 4'' and he had short, dirty blonde hair, plus he was majorly ripped. He was wearing clothes that looked casual, but were obviously expensive. He was incredibly pale, and his eyes were red. I'll admit, he kind of scared me. It wasn't just his appearance, but more the way that he looked at me, and how his gaze was filled with lust and desire. I shuddered slightly, then started towards my car, but he beat me to it.

"Hi, I'm James." He said to me as he blatantly looked me over, his eyes lingering on my chest.

"Nice to meet you, James." I was proud that I was able to keep the fear out of my voice.

"What's yours?"

"Bella."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, too, Bella." The way he said it just creeped me out! The clouds over the sun cast shadows all over, which made him look even more creepy.

"I was wondering if I could interest you in a lunch together. I know I'm hungry," James said. There was a cruel glint in his eyes when he said that.

"Oh, no, thanks. I already ate. I had lunch with my boyfriend." I emphasized the word "boyfriend" slightly so that he would get the message. All of a sudden, he was standing right next to me! I was startled and stumbled back a little.

"I think you'll find that what I have in mind is a little different..." James trailed off, leaving me to visualize fearfully the kind of things he wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, I'm no virgin, but he was really scaring me!

"I'm good, but thanks for the offer. I should probably get home now...my parents will be wondering where I am."

When I said that, he actually growled! It didn't sound human at all. Without a word, he just picked me up like I weighed nothing and threw me into the back of his SUV. I was so shocked I didn't even scream. He was so hard and cold, and SO fast! One minute I'm standing there, and then I blinked and found myself in his arms. He shoved the gas pedal down and started speeding away, all of this happening in less than 10 seconds. Scared as I was, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was...

I couldn't see out the windows, so I had no idea where we were going. After about 10 minutes, we finally stopped and he got out, only to appear in front of me a second later. I was terrified! My cell was in my purse, which was in my car where I had put it right before he introduced himself. I found myself being lifted and 5 seconds later, I had been carried into a bedroom inside a 2-story brick building.

"Now, then. It's always nice when they cooperate, so how about you just do what I tell you to do?" James said with a sinister smile. I couldn't believe this was happening, but my mind was going full speed.

"Fuck you!" I responded defiantly.

"Ah, well, then we'll just do this the hard way," he snarled.

As he stalked closer to me, I started backing up, but he soon had me cornered. There was no way out. He licked his lips, and then with one hand held me against the wall with his super-strength. I tried to kick and scream but he just laughed and watched me struggle.

"These walls are soundproof. No one can hear you."

He flipped me over easily and started unzipping the back of my minidress. James slid it down my body, then removed my shoes, then my jeans. Tears were running down my face, but he seemed to like it when I struggled and cried, so I forced myself to stop. I had had lots of practice with doing that in my life. Crying wouldn't help, anyway. James slid down my lacy panties and smiled evilly. Then he undid my matching bra. I stood there naked, and then he suddenly brought out rope from his pocket and tied my arms to two posts sticking out of the brick floor, and my legs to two more, so that I was laying in an "X."

He did this before I could really comprehend it, and I wondered again what the hell he was. I didn't figure I was going to last long, so I asked him.

Smirking, he replied, "I am a vampire."

Disbelief was written across my face, but as I thought about it, it made sense, with his otherworldly good looks, strength, coldness, hardness, and speed. He noticed my expression and punched the solid wall, which crumbled, then ran around the room so fast I couldn't see him. He smiled, pleased with his demonstration. He told me about his kind, how red eyes meant human-drinkers while gold eyes meant animal-drinkers.

"I can't see much harm in allowing you to know, as you won't be alive for much longer." He mused.

Then he crouched down and straddled me, and took of his t-shirt and cargo shorts. I whimpered, but quickly silenced myself. He grinned sadistically as he began running his hands down my body. I knew there was no use in struggling. James lowered his head and started sucking on my breast, while playing with the other one with his hands. He was visibly aroused, and when he noticed my pierced navel, it intensified. I was in pure Hell. But the thing is, I deserved this. All of it, the rape, the torture, the death. I was the one who got Jasmine killed when she was so young, had so much life left to live. So I just lay there and took it. Not that I could do anything different anyway. The pain I felt when he entered me was excruciating. He pounded in and out and I just closed my eyes and whimpered. When he was finally done, I was so relieved.

"I'll be back in a few hours, Bella. Don't miss me too much, now!" He called as he went out the door of the building.

While he was abusing me, the knots that he had tied had come slightly loose. When I realized this, I felt hope blossom inside me! After about two hours, I had my left hand free! I undid the knot on my right hand as quickly as I could, not knowing when James would be back. As soon as my hands were free, I quickly got my feet free. I dressed in record time, not caring that my jeans were wrinkled, unbuttoned, and sagged, or that my dress was inside out, or that my boots weren't zipped. All I cared about was getting the hell out of there! I ran and ran and ran once I was outside. I thought it a little careless of James to have left the doors unlocked, but I wasn't complaining! I realized that I could see my car now, and, spurred on, I ran even faster. I leaped in shoved the key in and made it to my house in 30 seconds. I was so happy that I cried! My parents came running out and started shouting at me about what had happened and how worried they were, but I just cried harder and threw myself into their arms.

**24 Hours Later**

My parents were so freaked, but they actually acted surprisingly well; I doubted someone with less experience with them would have been able to tell that they were actually on the verge of a meltdown. I didn't tell them the part about him being a vampire, they would just have me committed. But I did tell them about how I was dead sure that he would come after me, so my maid packed me several large suitcases, and the next thing I knew, I was on a flight to Forks, Washington, the tiny little hard-to-find town where my dad lived. I slept the whole flight, and felt relieved when the plane finally touched down in Port Angeles, a little city near Forks. Charlie picked me up, and said nothing the whole ride, for which I was grateful. He had been appraised of the situation already. He knew that I wouldn't want to talk about it, and I loved him for that. We got to his house, which was pretty big, especially compared to some of the other houses around here. I hadn't been here since I was 6, when I had last visited, but not much had changed. My room was the same lime green color that I loved, and there was still a rocking chair. However, he had gotten me a queen-sized bed and a large desk, with some lamps and rugs and stuff. After Charlie left to go to the station where he was Police Chief, I made my bed with the cool bedspread and sheets that had been packed for me, and spent the rest of the night unpacking all my clothes, which barely fit in the closet/dresser. Charlie and I had dinner, and then he watched the game while I had a shower and went to bed. One thing I love about him: he knows that I don't like hovering, meaningless smalltalk, or awkward time spent together that neither person enjoys.

The next day, I was somewhat excited about school, but not for the reasons one would think. Honestly, I was anxious to make sure that James wasn't here, though I knew that he couldn't be. My parents were so worried (I told them that James told me he would track me to the ends of the earth, because I knew he would.) that they gave me a new drivers license with the name Sapphire Swan, and all new credit cards. I took a shower, then put on a lacy lingerie set that my mom had given me for my birthday one year (She's a little out there, but I love her.). Over that I wore a baby blue tank top with satin straps, dark blue skinny jeans, and black leather above-the-knee stiletto boots. As far as accessories go, I wore aquamarine studs and white gold hoop earrings, a simple silver heart locket on a short chain so that it rested in the hollow base of my throat, and, of course, my silver navel piercing, though no one could see it. I put all my cash, credit cards, drivers license, makeup, iPhone, and other necessities in a matching purse and grabbed my car keys. Thankfully, my car had arrived before me, so I didn't have to depend on Charlie for a ride.

When I got to the school, everyone was staring at my car. I looked around the parking lot and realized that most of the other cars were at least twenty years old. I felt self-conscious but confident as I stepped out and all the eyes went from my car to me. I knew I probably had dressed to expensively, but I couldn't bear to not wear designer, as shallow as that sounds.

A boy came up to me and introduced himself as Eric. "You're going to be the front page of the school paper!" He exclaimed.

"What? Thanks, but I really would prefer if you didn't!" Normally attention didn't bother me too much, but here I was all too aware that if my face ended up on any paper, even if just a school paper, James could find me.

"But-"

"I really don't want to be in the paper, so please don't."

He sighed, defeated, and looked down. "I guess I'll just do a piece on the lunch ladies' new hairnets, then." He started to slowly walk away.

I sighed. I really didn't want to be in the paper, but I didn't want to make him sad. "Fine! You can put me in the paper, but no picture!"

"Really? Thanks so much!"

"Sure, sure."

Eric ran off then, presumably to go to class. Everyone was still staring at me and my car. The girls were glaring at me, while the guys were practically drooling. Ugh. It was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of its characters, or any aspects of the story. I do, however, own this plot.**

**EPOV**

I was sitting at my piano, playing the song I had composed that was inspired by Carlisle and Esme's relationship. When she heard this, Esme ran down the stairs and came to stand by me while I played.

_Thank you, Edward. _

I nodded in acknowledgment of her thought. I heard Rosalie working on her BMW, and thinking about how pretty she was. Jasper was thinking about what to get Alice for their anniversary while trying not to make a decision so she wouldn't know beforehand. Then I noticed that Alice was having a vision.

_A beautiful girl was getting out of her new-looking car in front of the Forks High School_. _She was expensively dressed and looked anxious. Then the image skipped ahead in time, how much was impossible to tell. She was sitting on the floor of what I guessed was her bedroom. The girl was crying and running her hands over a 5-inch scar that stretched from the underside of her wrist up to her forearm. She was murmuring "I'm so sorry!" over and over. She said, "Oh, Jasmine." While she said this, she caressed a bracelet being worn over her scar. _

Hm. I stopped playing and looked over at Alice as I asked, "What was that, Alice?"

"Forks High School getting a new student today!" She responded.

"What was she crying about?" I asked her.

"Your guess is as good as mine." She shrugged.

With that, she got up from her spot on the couch and skipped over to watch me play. After a half hour or so, we all went out to my Volvo, got in, and sped off toward school. We had just walked up the steps of the school when the silver Porsche from Alice's vision drove into the parking lot. When the girl stepped out, I noticed again how beautiful she was. Unfortunately, she was undoubtedly spoiled and shallow, as well as conceited and self-centered.

_I'll have to ask her where she got that tank top._

I looked over at my sister as she thought this and she shrugged and said, "What? It's cute!"

I rolled my eyes at Alice.

"What's cute?" Jasper asked.

"The new girl's top." Alice informed him.

"It is pretty cute." Rosalie injected. Then she started staring at her car and thinking about all its different parts.

We watched as Eric Yorkie walked over to her, introduced himself, then informed her that she would be on the front page of the school paper. I admit, I was surprised when she swiftly argued and told him not to. She seemed almost _scared _at the thought that she would be in the paper. Grudgingly, she agreed, but on the condition that her picture be omitted. When he scurried off, she took a deep breath and glanced at everyone else, as they were all staring at either her or her car. She walked confidently up to the school and strutted into the office, no doubt going to get her schedule and whatnot.

We turned and went to our respective classes. Alice and I were posing as juniors, while Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie were posing as seniors. As I walked into homeroom and took my seat in the back of the classroom, I sighed in wait of a boring day in purgatory, as the teacher began droning on about something unimportant.

Lunch finally rolled around, and the new girl was on everyone's minds. I learned that her name was Sapphire as I waited for my family. We sat down at our regular table with the food that we wouldn't eat. I heard someone think my name and turned my head to look at them, an automatic reflex. I found myself staring into the utterly shocked and horrified eyes of Sapphire. She gasped, and my family caught the direction I was staring in. As the girl's eyes traveled over the rest of my family, her eyes widened even further, and she suddenly got up from her table and announced that she wasn't feeling well and needed to go to the restroom. She nearly ran off. Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice looked at me, confused and expectant. I just lifted a shoulder in a shrug, for once I didn't know, because for the first time in my vampire life, I couldn't hear anything at all from her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and any thought to the contrary is ridiculous.**

**BPOV**

When I walked into homeroom, everyone's eyes were locked on me. Thankfully, the teacher didn't make me introduce myself or tell complete strangers all about my life history, or any of that crap. I sat down in a seat near the back, but that didn't stop them all from wrenching themselves around in their chairs to gawk at me. I could practically hear the guys mentally rehearsing how to ask me out. Ew. Seriously, none of them were all that cute. I was pretty upset about having to leave Dylan, but it's not like we could keep dating! I mean, I don't have any idea how long I'll have to be here. I still talked to Jacob and some of my closest friends everyday. We were all so tight that we pretty much called each other whenever we felt like it. When the class was finally over, I quickly shoved all my stuff into my bag, then hightailed it out to the hallway before any of them could talk to me. Even though this town was incredibly tiny, Charlie was a private person and didn't really like to talk about his personal life, so luckily no one knew my real name, or even that he had a daughter. I hated that this was how I had to reconnect with him, but what other choice did I have?

Suddenly, I stopped. This girl had planted herself right in front of me and I couldn't get past her. She was average height, I guess, she had stringy dirty blonde hair, and lots of freckles. She was also wearing a padded bra, I could see that right away. I could tell with a single glance that she was a nosy little gossip girl.

She stuck her hand out right in front of me and said, "Hi! I'm Jessica. Who are you?"

When I didn't answer immediately, she took the opportunity to blurt out, "So, do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm Sapphire, and no, I don't right now."

"Oh, well where did you move from?"

She was obviously looking for gossip to spread, so I just said, "Pretty far away."

Then I smoothly slid around her and headed to my next class. Despite my previous social position, I really hated those types of people. So nosy. As I walked into my next class (A.P. Math), I handed the teacher the slip that she was supposed to sign for me to give to the office secretary at the end of the day. She did, and then I looked around the room. Sadly, we had to sit in pairs. I chose a seat next to a shy girl who I figured wouldn't pester me too much.

"Hi, I'm Sapphire. What's your name?" I spoke quietly, and I knew that everyone in the room was straining to hear what I was saying.

"Angela. It's nice to meet you," she responded even more quietly than me. I was glad that I was right about the shy/not prying type that I guessed her to be.

She had long light brown hair and square black glasses. She would be really pretty if she cut her hair and got contacts, or at least cuter glasses.

"I love your scarf," I complimented her. It was a really cute lavender knitted scarf. It went well with the t-shirt she was wearing.

"Thanks." She blushed.

I whizzed through math, and the next classes, too. They were all just so easy, even the A.P. ones. They were pretty far behind compared to my old school. At least there was that. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the day wasn't any better. I made it to lunch and groaned internally. Lunch meant everyone chatting me up and digging at info about my personal life. I grabbed a bottle of vitamin water and paid for it before anyone had really sat down, so I snagged an empty table and put my purse on the seat next to me to make it clear that I didn't want anyone sitting with me. Unfortunately, some people just didn't get the message. Jessica came over and plopped down right next to me, and several others followed her lead. The table was so crammed, I didn't see how any of them could eat! Really, was one new student so incredible? They all introduced themselves, Mike, Tyler, Lauren, Whitney, Ben, Eric (the one that I had met in the parking lot), and more that I didn't really hear. The interrogation began.

"So, what's your name?"

"Where are you from?"

"Why did you come to Forks?"

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Who are your parents?"

"Who's your boyfriend?"

"Is that your natural hair color?"

Ugh. The questions pertaining to my availability came from the boys, which I pretty much expected. I took a deep breath and then started in, being as evasive as possible. I didn't want to say something, forget it, and then contradict it later.

"My name is Sapphire, I moved from the west coast, I am currently single, and yes, this is my natural hair color," I said all in one breath.

"So, why did you move here?" Jessica, of course, asked this.

"Just needed a change."

She frowned, dissatisfied. I decided to reroute and redirect. "So, what's the deal with Mr. Varrenger?"

Lauren jumped in here and said, "Oh, he's just a total pervert. He stares at anything in a skirt, 14 and up. Once, he had an affair with this sophomore, Sadie, in his office and when her parents found out, they transferred her to another school!"

I was pretty unimpressed with what they considered "hot gossip." It was totally obvious that it was made up. Well, to me anyway. But then, I had noticed how he had leered at my chest and ass. It made me want to throw up, mostly because I was so scarred from James.

I was searching the cafeteria with my eyes, trying to find a new topic to keep them from asking any more questions. That's when I saw them. Vampires. A whole table full! I froze and stared at them, horrified. One of them met my eyes, and his were completely black. I stood up and excused myself to the restroom, and after I checked all the stalls to make sure it was empty, I locked the door and slid down it slowly. I couldn't stop the terrified tears that ran down my face, and was glad that I didn't really wear much makeup. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled myself together and washed my face, dabbed on some eye redness decreasing cream, and walked back out just in time for the bell to ring. I passed one of the vampires on my way and saw that his eyes were gold! I almost laughed in relief. The rest of the day passed relatively uneventfully, and as soon as school was over, I escaped into my car. I peeled out of the parking lot before any of the curious students could attack.

I finished my homework in twenty minutes, so I took out my laptop and brought it over to my desk. I answered a few emails, then decided to call Jacob.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey, hot stuff!" I teased.

"Well, if it isn't the Wicked Bitch of the West...what's up? How was it?"

I laughed. "Well, it was as bad as I expected. How goes life over there?"

"It's fantastic!"

"Oh?"

"And by fantastic, I mean that all color has drained away, and life is absolute hell."

"That's better!"

"Everyone at Starbucks is asking about you."

"Oh, my gosh, Jake! There is no Starbucks here at all! I have to fulfill my coffee addiction with my coffee bar in my room!"

"What? Wow, you poor thing!"

"I know..."

"Hey, I've gotta go, but I'll call ya later!"

"Sure, sure. Later, loser!"

"Haha, ditto, dipstick!"

I felt so much better after talking to Jake, as I knew I would. I started thinking about our friendship, and that, of course, led to thoughts about Jazz... I couldn't stop the memories that came flooding through me, and how after, Jake and I wrote a song dedicated to her.

**This song is called If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback, but in the story, Bella and Jake wrote it.**

_My best friend gave me the best advice_

_She said each day's a gift and not a given right_

_Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind_

_And live like you're never living twice_

_That first step you take is the longest stride_

_If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late_

_Could you say goodbye to yesterday_

_Would you live each moment like your last_

_Leave old pictures in the past_

_Donate every dime you had_

_If today was your last day_

_Against the grain should be a way of life_

_What's worth the price is always worth the fight_

_Every second counts 'cause there's no second try_

_So live like you're never living twice_

_Don't take the free ride in your own life_

_If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late_

_Could you say goodbye to yesterday_

_Would you live each moment like your last _

_Leave old pictures in the past_

_Donate every dime you had_

_If today was your last day_

_And would you call those friends you never see_

_Reminisce old memories_

_Would you forgive your enemies_

_Would you find that one you're dreaming of_

_Swear up and down to God above_

_That you'd finally fall in love_

_If today was your last day_

_If today was your last day_

_Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart_

_You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars _

_Regardless of who you are_

_So do whatever it takes_

_'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life_

_Let nothing stand in your way_

_'Cause the hands of time are never on your side_

_If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late_

_Could you say goodbye to yesterday_

_Would you live each moment like your last _

_Leave old pictures in the past_

_Donate every dime you had_

_If today was your last day_

_And would you call those friends you never see_

_Reminisce old memories_

_Would you forgive your enemies_

_Would you find that one you're dreaming of_

_Swear up and down to God above_

_That you'd finally fall in love_

_If today was your last day_

I found myself sitting on the floor, sobbing, and running my hand over the scar like I always do when I think of Jasmine. I was babbling and crying, and I just felt so damn guilty! I knew that it was all my fault. If only...

"Oh, Jasmine."

I couldn't change what I had done, and I deserved to burn in hell for it. All I remember was dragging myself over to my bed, and then I passed out.

When I woke up, I was laying there in the dark, still fully dressed. My watch said that it was 10:26. I groaned, stripped, and squirmed under the covers. Mercifully, I slept dreamless.

At 7:00, my alarm went off, so I dragged myself out of bed, started my cappuccino, and padded into the shower. I came out feeling refreshed, so I dressed in a thin purple long-sleeved blouse, flared jeans, and converse sneakers. A light dusting of makeup went on, then I added a short silver necklace with my initial. Then I remembered that I couldn't wear that because my name was now Sapphire. Instead, I wore several long, looped silver chains and silver ball studs. Three cups of coffee later, I was ready to go. First I filled up my mug, though. I had a feeling I would need it today. I started my car and drove to school.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**BPOV**

I pulled into the same spot as yesterday and yanked out my iPod. As I scrolled through the songs, I decided on Over You by Daughtry. I sat there for a few minutes listening, then got out. I walked around to the back of my car and took a long, slow drink of my cappuccino. Damn, I love this stuff!

All of a sudden, Tyler's car pulled into the lot, going way too fast, especially with all the ice and slush. It hit a patch of ice and careened out of control. I quickly looked around and noticed the Cullens (I found out about them after my panic attack in the bathroom yesterday.) all staring at me in shock. Alice and Jasper Cullen had their mouths open in horror, and then I found myself being thrown to the ground as Tyler screamed. When I looked up, I found myself staring into the eyes of Jasper Cullen. To say I was surprised would be a major understatement. Then I remembered how fast James had been. Jasper somehow stopped the van and I noticed an imprint of his shoulders in the side of the metal.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

I did a quick check, and other than my head hurting, the only thing that really pained me was the fact that my coffee had spilled and my mug was cracked.

"NO! How the hell could I possibly be alright when my coffee is spilled? Damn!" I cried.

He chuckled. "Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah, but not too bad."

"Well, you should stay down until the paramedics get here. It could be more serious than you think."

"But it's cold!"

"You very nearly got killed, and you're worried about the cold?" He laughed again.

"Well, thank you for saving me. I don't think _I_ could have stopped that car."

"Excuse me?"

I snorted. "I'm not blind, I saw you stop that car."

"Oh, right, so somehow I managed to stop a car with my bare hands! I was standing next to you and I pushed you out of the way," he said severely. I could see he was nervous, though he tried very hard not to show it.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't think it would be smart at this point to let on that I knew about vampires. "Whatever floats your boat."

Just then, they got Tyler's car out of the way so the paramedics could get through. Jasper had a brief discussion with one, then they loaded me onto a gurney. As much as I protested, they seemed dead set on strapping me down, even though I was fine.

"Bel- Sapphire!" I heard Charlie yell, and was glad he caught himself before saying 'Bella.'

"Charlie, I'm fine. I just bumped my head, I'm totally fine!"

"What happened?" He demanded.

I saw Jasper narrow his eyes minutely as he stared at me, waiting for my reply. It's not like I was going to tell anyone what really happened, so I decided to go with Jasper's story.

"Jasper was standing next to me and pushed me out of the way," I told him.

Charlie looked at him apprehensively, then muttered a thanks. Jasper was looking at me intently and I smirked. I knew he would be wondering what I knew, but I wouldn't tell him in such a public place, if I told him at all. The ambulance drove off, and I only then allowed myself to take a deep breath.

Once there, they put me in a hospital room with Tyler, and he couldn't stop apologizing. I finally just pretended I was asleep so he would shut up. A nurse came to take him to get x-rayed, so I opened my eyes. When I did, I saw Jasper leaning against the wall staring at me.

"So, how's your head?" He asked.

"Fine! I'm absolutely fine! I really don't need to be here," I replied angrily.

"Hm. Have you gotten x-rayed yet?"

"No. So why aren't you laying in a hospital bed, too?"

"It's all about who you know," he said lightly.

"Thanks again for saving me, no matter how you did it," I said softly.

His eyes narrowed again, but he just said, "You're welcome."

Another nurse came in and told me that I needed to be x-rayed. Ugh.

"You need to take that bracelet off, sweetie," she told me.

"No. It stays on," I said back coldly.

"You can put it right next to you on the floor, but you can't have it on while we x-ray you."

"Well then, don't x-ray me."

She sighed, exasperated. "You have to take it off! It will just be a few seconds."

I was NOT going to take off the bracelet! I would sooner die. "No! I won't take it off. You can x-ray me or not, but if you want to take this bracelet off, you're going to have to cut off my hand." God!

She huffed and left.

"Why won't you take off that bracelet?"

"Shit! Oh, god, don't scare me like that!" I yelled. I had totally forgotten that he was here.

"Sorry. I thought you knew I was still here. Why won't you take off the bracelet? It's only for a few seconds."

"That's none of your business, and this bracelet will not leave my wrist until my heart stops beating."

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't there. It worked for all of five minutes. That's when a doctor came in and Jasper started talking to him.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen," said a beautiful voice. Almost as beautiful as Jasper's.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I was very surprised that a vampire was working in the hospital, even a vegetarian vamp. He walked over to my bed and knelt down.

"I hear that you won't be getting an x-ray." He said.

"That's right, there's nothing wrong with me," I told him.

"Do you mind if I check that?"

I sighed. "Nope. Go ahead."

His cold fingers gently probed my head, and I winced slightly when he touched the bump from the meeting that my head had with the ground.

"Tender?"

"Not really."

"Well, I think that you were right when you said that you were fine, so you can go any time you want. Just make sure you take some Tylenol for your head."

"Can I go back to school?" I asked him, hope coloring my voice.

"No, I don't believe you should, and besides, most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

I groaned. Ugh, that figures. Just my luck.

"Would you prefer to stay here?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"No! No way!" I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, but my balance wasn't the best right now, so I stumbled. I would have fallen, but Dr. Cullen caught me.

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to stay?" He asked again.

"Positive, thanks."

"Alright, but don't hesitate to come back if you experience any dizziness, pain, or confusion."

"Sure, sure. Thanks again." I smiled at him and then left, with Jasper hot on my heels.

He started to say something, but I cut him off. "Thank you for saving me, and I won't tell anyone how you did it. I-"

My speech about how I knew about vampires was stopped before it started by Tik Tok by Ke$ha coming out of my purse. I answered without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"You bitch! How could you?"

"How could I what, Jake?"

"FORGET MY BIRTHDAY!"

"I didn't. Look in the third drawer of the cabinet in your bathroom."

"What? I'm looking...Oh, my god!"

"Yeah, yeah. Love you, too, you bastard. Happy birthday."

"I'm sorry! Oh, shit! Oh, I love you so much! Thanks!"

"It's cool, but I have to go, call you in a few minutes."

I ended the call and shoved the phone back in my bag. I could understand why he thought I had forgotten, but right before I left, I had hidden front-row tickets to a Papa Roach concert that was coming up in a month in his bathroom. I knew he wouldn't find them.

"Um, what was I saying...? Oh, yeah. I know that you were standing across the lot before the car hit me, and I know that you stopped it with your hands, but I won't tell anyone that because I know how you did it."

And on that note, I gracefully pivoted and walked out the door. Charlie was waiting for me in the parking lot because I had texted him that I was about to leave. I didn't want to have to go through the waiting room, so I was grateful that he said he would be in the car. I got into his police cruiser and we went home. He knew that I was fine, so he didn't ask questions. When we got home, I told him that I was going to use my day off to go to Seattle, which was a couple hours away. After a short argument, he finally gave in, so I got in my car, and plugged in my iPod. I set it to shuffle and turned up the volume. I remembered Jake, then, so I called him. He answered on the first ring.

"Okay, so you, me, and Papa Roach. I can't wait!" I said.

"Me either, and thanks so much for the tickets!"

"Well I had to think of something to top what you got me last year! And in case you didn't know, it's not easy to top a $100 gift card to Victoria's Secret!" I laughed. He was such a guy!

"I'm glad you liked it so much! I'm also glad to hear that you used it all..."

"How did you know that?"

"OH! You have?"

I groaned. After 15 years with him, I should've known he was fishing.

"So, how long do you want to stay when you come up for the concert?" He asked.

"Oh, how 'bout a week?"

"Sure, I can't wait to see you. I'm not used to us being apart..."

I sighed. "Me neither. I've been thinking about Jazz lately, more often than usual."

He didn't say anything for a while, and I was sure that he would be trying not to cry. "Me too."

"It's because the anniversary is coming up. It's only two weeks away."

"I know. I feel like we're not doing enough, that just bracelets aren't cutting it now."

"I've been thinking the same thing. This nurse tried to take mine off today. That made me realize that someone very well could take them off. I want to do something for her, something permanent."

"How about tattoos?"

"That's perfect!"

"Okay, well we'll get them together when you come in two weeks."

"That sounds great."

"I have to go, I'll talk to you later."

"Later, fucknut!"

"Ditto, Wicked Bitch of the West!"

We hung up, laughing. I sang along to the music until I got to Seattle and finally found what I was looking for: a Starbucks. I went in and ordered my usual, then sat down with my laptop. I ended up getting four more. Coffee always calmed me down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I repeat, I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

After my seventh cup of coffee, I felt much better, so I decided to go shopping while I was here. I went to Abercrombie and Fitch, Bloomingdale's, Barney's, Gucci, Prada, Chanel, and Hollister. My car was totally filled, and I felt a million times better! Then I thought about Jacob's birthday, and how he would probably expect something other than just concert tickets, so I stopped at Armani and got him some new shoes. We knew pretty much everything about each other, including shoes sizes. In fact, I think he may even know what size bra I wear.

As I headed home, I cranked up my iPod again so I could sing along. Suddenly, I remembered The Night again. I saw in vivid clarity Jasmine laying on the floor of the elevator, covered in blood. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a sack of bricks, and I couldn't see through my tears. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and sobbed. I cried for Jasmine. For the life she should've had, for the man she should've fallen in love with, for the kids she should've carried, and because I knew that she never would have the chance to live. Here I was, shopping to my heart's content, spending thousands of dollars, while she was six feet under. I should be the one who's dead.

I finally stopped crying, and realized that I was craving coffee. I started driving until I found a restaurant in Port Angeles that looked promising. The hostess led me to a table and I sat down. I sighed heavily and dropped my head into my hands. When I looked up, I was shocked to see Alice and Jasper Cullen sitting at a table near me. They were both looking back at me, looking just as surprised. I smiled at them and they came over to sit with me.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked me.

"Yeah," I stopped because the tears were evident in my voice. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Well, okay, do you mind if we sit with you?"

"Not at all," I said with a smile.

The waitress came over and I ordered a large coffee. I smiled and thanked her before the Cullens said anything, so she left.

"Why didn't you let us order?" asked Jasper.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to? I just figured you wouldn't want any of this food. I'll go get her." I stood up to get the waitress, but he stopped me.

"No, we don't want anything. How did you know that we wouldn't want anything?"

I sighed and thought, _Screw it_. I told them that I knew about vampires. The look on their faces was priceless!

I laughed and said, "Wish I had a camera right now!" They didn't look amused. Alice just looked stunned, while Jasper looked stunned and angry.

"How? How did you know?" Jasper exclaimed. Alice shushed him and he calmed down.

I hesitated, then decided it couldn't hurt to tell them everything. "I...had a, um...run-in...with a vampire previously." I grimaced as I thought about it.

They both looked startled. Then Alice spoke, "And they let you live?"

"Well, that wasn't exactly part of his game plan. I...met him when I lived in L.A. I was coming out of Starbucks and he was waiting by my car. He asked me out, I told him I had already eaten with my boyfriend, and that seemed to make him mad. He grabbed me and threw me in the back of his car. We got to a brick building a few miles outside of town, then he dragged me in and tied me up. He...raped me, and told me he was going hunting and would be back in a few hours. I got the impression that he wanted to keep me for a while, so he was hunting to be sure that he wouldn't kill me. I got the ropes untied, then ran away. I didn't tell my parents that he was a vampire, because I was sure they would have me committed. They moved me here so he couldn't find me, though I don't know how long that'll last. Anyway, he told me about what he was because he wasn't planning on letting me live."

It took them a minute to process that, and when they did, Alice said, "So, you lived in L.A.?"

I snorted at her question, then nodded. They seemed to have a fast conversation that I didn't understand, then Jasper asked if I would come home with them so I could tell Carlisle my story. I thought about it for a minute, and realized that there was a good chance that they would kill me, but I nodded. If they did kill me, then at least it would end this pain, this guilt. Yeah. I'm that much of a coward. If they were surprised by my answer, they didn't show it.

We got in my car, although there was barely enough room for them, what with all the shopping bags. On the way, I stopped at a homeless shelter. Jasper and Alice both raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. I grabbed as many shopping bags as I could carry, then dumped them into the donation bin. I did this until only Jacob's Armani shoes were left, and got back in the car.

"Why did you just give that all away?" Said Alice.

I sighed. "Because I don't deserve it." I left it at that, and was grateful that even though I could tell they were both burning with curiosity, they didn't say anything else.

After a very awkward thirty minutes (It should've taken an hour, but I drive FAST!), I pulled into their driveway and got out. Alice went ahead to tell the others that we were coming. Jasper and I slowly walked about up the long walkway that led to the house.

Then he spoke, "Sapphire isn't your real name, is it?"

"No. My name is Isabella Shephard, or Bella."

He nodded to himself. When we entered the house, I looked at all the vampires assembled there, knowing that I might never leave this house, and using all of my charismatic social skills, I said, "Hi."

They said nothing. Then Dr. Cullen came over and said gently, "Alice tells us that you know what we are, and that you have a story to tell."

I took a breath and replied, "Well, first off, my name is Isabella Shephard." Then I launched into the rest of the story and by the end, they were all (except Alice and Jasper) shocked, horrified, and speechless.

Then Rosalie immediately said, "She knows. We have to kill her."

They all launched into a very loud argument about what to do with me. I just rubbed my temples, and leaned back into the sofa that I was sitting on. They noticed this, and Jasper said, "Aren't you scared?"

I thought about how best to word what I was feeling then responded with, "No. If you are going to kill me, I have one request."

Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows, then nodded for me to continue.

"Make it painful."

They stared at me, mouths open, for the longest time. Finally, Dr. Cullen said, "Excuse me?"

I closed my eyes, and in my mind I saw Jazzy, bloody, broken, and dead. And it was my fault. So I told them quietly, "I don't deserve to live. I don't _want_ to keep living." A tear ran down my face as I said this.

After a pause, Dr. Cullen spoke again, "You'll have to elaborate on that."

There was no way I was going to tell them about what a fucked up monster I was, so I told him, "Look, just kill me if you're going to kill me."

"We are _not_ going to kill you."

I exhaled, disappointed. "Why?"

"Because we value every life, and we aren't going to end an innocent life like yours."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, so I got up quickly, and stormed out the door towards my car. Hot tears poured down my face. I started my car and and floored it all the way home. I brought the bag with Jake's shoes in and went up to my room, grateful that Charlie was at work. I screamed, then punched the wall, over and over. When blood was pouring out of my knuckles, I stalked over to the bathroom and washed off my hand, then tied a towel around it. _Coffee_, I thought. _I need coffee_.

I was glad that I had thought to bring my coffee/cappuccino maker here, because I spent the rest of the night drowning my sorrows in coffee. Around 4 AM, I stripped down to my underwear and slipped into bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**JPOV**

I was having "dinner" with Alice in Port Angeles, when I heard the door open and Sapphire Swan walked in, and she was upset. The hostess led her over to a table near us, and Alice looked over at her.

_What's wrong with her? She looks like she was crying._

Then she sighed and dropped her head into her hands. Alice and I both became concerned. Sapphire finally looked up, right into my eyes. She looked startled, then smiled at us.

_We should go over and talk to her._

I got out of my seat. For some reason, I had an unusual curiosity about her, mostly about her reaction when she saw us on her first day of school. We slid into the booth seat across from her.

"Are you okay?" My sister asked.

"Yeah," she replied, but the tears in her voice made it obvious that she wasn't. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Well, okay. Do you mind if we sit with you?" She better not, because we were already here.

She smiled. "Not at all."

Then the blonde waitress came over and asked her what she would like. Sapphire ordered a large coffee, then dismissed her. This surprised me. Why didn't she ask us if we wanted anything before sending away the waitress? I voiced my question.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to? I just figured you wouldn't want any of this food. I'll go get her," she said quickly.

What did she mean, 'you wouldn't want any of this food?' I then told her that we didn't want any, and asked how she knew we wouldn't. She hesitated briefly, then seemed to make a decision. What she said completely shocked me. SHE KNEW ABOUT VAMPIRES! But then why wasn't she running away, screaming? And how did she find out about us?

Sapphire laughed then, "Wish I had a camera right now!"

I was too confused and stunned to respond to that, but then I pulled myself together and exclaimed, "How? How did you know?" Alice quieted me as a reminder that we were in public, and needed to keep it together.

Sapphire stuttered, "I...had a, um...run-in...with a vampire previously." She grimaced. I was shocked! Why did they let her live, knowing what she knows? Judging from her expression, it wasn't a pleasant run-in. Alice asked her something, but I didn't hear her. Then she told us the whole story. My blood boiled (metaphorically) when I thought about some vampire raping her. Where did _that _come from?

Then, Alice asked a ridiculous question, "So, you lived in L.A.?"

Apparently, Sapphire thought it was ridiculous as well, because she snorted before nodding.

At vampire speed, I told Alice, "We should take her home and let her tell Carlisle about what happened."

She replied, "Oh, yeah, right. Rosalie will want to kill her on the spot! She might not come out of there alive!"

I contemplated this, then said, "We won't let her. She can't get through you, me, and Carlisle."

She thought about it for a second, then said, "Okay, fine. But it's her choice. If she doesn't want to come, we won't make her. If she knows what's good for her, she won't."

I asked her then if she would come, and to my great surprise, she said yes. I kept a mask of indifference on my face, though.

We got into her Porsche, which was so completely full of shopping bags from expensive stores that we had to squeeze ourselves in, and started towards home. However, Sapphire stopped at a homeless shelter and put every single bag (except one from Armani) into the donation bin! This girl never ceased to amaze me. I could tell what Alice was thinking, and knew that she was wondering why the hell she would spend thousands of dollars on clothes, then just give them away like that.

"Why did you just give that all away?" Alice asked her.

She sighed softly before speaking, and when she did it was cryptic, "Because I don't deserve it."

Those words inflamed my curiosity, but neither Alice nor I said anything. I could see that something was wrong when she was putting the bags in the bin, because she could hardly look at them at all. Faster than Sapphire could see, Alice looked in the Armani bag, just out of curiosity, and saw a pair of mens' shoes. We were both confused, then Alice remembered that Sapphire said that she told James she had a boyfriend, so they must be a present for him, or something. For some reason, it bothered me that she had a boyfriend.

When we got to the house, Alice went ahead of us to tell the others that we had a human coming and that she knew. Sapphire and I walked up to the house slowly, or maybe it was just slow to me. Then it occurred to me that Sapphire probably isn't even her real name, so I asked her about it.

"No. My name is Isabella Shephard, or Bella," she told me.

I nodded, thinking that that name suited her better. We walked into the house and she looked around at everyone, then said hi. No one said anything. Rosalie was thinking swear words at her and glowering.

Finally, Carlisle came over and said gently, "Alice tells us that you know what we are, and that you have a story to tell."

Sapphire, or Bella, took a deep breath, introduced herself as Isabella, then jumped into the story. By the end, all the emotions in the room were horrified and stunned. Rosalie empathized, and remembered her own story, but in the end, her love for Emmett and the rest of the family was such that she saw no choice but to kill her. Rosalie just didn't want to risk losing us. Esme was all heart, thinking about what she went through and how terrible it must've been for her. Edward was sifting through all of the thoughts.

"She knows. We have to kill her," Rosalie said bluntly.

Alice and I immediately protested, while Edward and Emmett sided with Rose. Carlisle and Esme backed us. After several minutes of shouting at each other about this, Bella just leaned back into the sofa while rubbing her temples like we were giving her a headache. I was confused because I sensed no fear from her, but oddly enough, she felt _hopeful_. What was that about?

I asked her, "Aren't you scared?"

She took her time before talking, "No. If you are going to kill me, I have one request."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows in astonishment at her nonchalance, but nodded at her to continue. What she said, as was becoming the usual with her, totally floored me.

"Make it painful."

After a couple minutes of standing there with our mouths open, Carlisle said, "Excuse me?"

Bella closed her eyes. Her lower lip trembled slightly, and she said, "I don't deserve to live. I don't _want_ to keep living." A lone tear trickled down her face, and if I had a heart, it would be breaking for her. I couldn't _imagine _why the hell she thought she didn't deserve to live!

"You'll have to elaborate on that," Carlisle told her, appalled.

Her jaw clenched, and then she stood up and said, "Look, just kill me if you're going to kill me."

"We are _not_ going to kill you."

This obviously disappointed her, and she exhaled. "Why?"

"Because we value every life, and we aren't going to end an innocent life like yours."

She stormed out to her car and fishtailed around towards the road.

"What was that about?" Emmett grumbled.

"I don't know, but I want to find out," Alice announced. I could practically see the wheels turning in her little head.

"No, Alice! That's a total invasion of privacy!" I yelled. But at the same time, I wanted to do it.

"I can see that you, Emmett, and I are going, so come on!" She squealed.

"Yeah, let's go!" Emmet shouted, guessing what we were talking about.

I surrendered, and we ran to her house. We beat her by a good twelve seconds, too. Chief Swan's police cruiser wasn't there, so I assumed he was working the late shift at the station. Bella got out of her car with the Armani shoes and ran into the house. Feeling rotten, we all looked through the window of her room as she screamed in frustration. Bella started punching the wall over and over until her knuckles gushed blood. I was glad that there was a couple feet worth of wall muffling the scent of her blood, because as incredibly enticing she smelled normally, I don't even want to imagine what her open blood smells like.

Bella went into her bathroom and rinsed off her hand, then roughly tied a washcloth around it. I worried that she would get an infection, but it's not like I could go in there. She went over to her professional-grade coffee bar, and spent the rest of the night drinking cappuccinos and crying while running her fingers over that scar on her arm. I wondered for the millionth time what the story with that scar and her bracelet was. When she went to sleep, we left, not having learned anything except that she felt guilty as hell, and she is in love with cappuccinos.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

**BPOV**

When I woke up, I felt so awful. My hand hurt like hell, and my throat hurt from screaming and crying so much. Worse, though, was knowing that I would have to drag my sorry ass to freaking school and face the Cullens. Honetly I had counted on them to kill me, which is why I told them as much as I did about my guilt, and how I didn't deserve to live. Now that they hadn't, they would be sure to have questions about those statements. I could always cut school, but I'm going to miss the next week, so that isn't really a good idea.

I decided I might as well get it over with, so I started my coffee, got in the shower, and stood under the water while tears ran down my face. If there was some way to bring Jazzy back, I would kill myself in an instant. I wish desperately that there was. But there isn't, so killing myself wouldn't help anyone. I finished my shower, then wrapped myself in my robe before going over to my closet to pick out an outfit. I chose a plain black tank under a Derek Lam shawl collar cardigan with Proenza Schouler painted jeans. I added some simple diamond studs in my ears. I had three cups of coffee, then filled my mug and went to my car. On the way to school, my closest girl friend, Lizzie, called. She knew the real reason I left, as she knew how to keep her mouth shut.

"Bella! I miss you so much!" She wailed.

"I miss you, too! But I'm coming up next week for six days."

"EEE! I can't wait to see you! Everything is boring without you."

I got out of the car with my purse and cell.

"Ditto, Lizzie. Hey, how are things with Tommie?" She had been dating him for the past four months.

She sobbed into the phone, and I tensed.

"He broke up with me for that bottle-blonde, slutty, fake-breasted, whore Megan! Can you believe it?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Liz! I thought he was so sweet! But if he is going to choose her over you, well, he can kiss my fucking ass, because he obviously doesn't deserve to even walk on the ground you walk on! And Megan can just go to hell, the whore. I bet she's a prostitute by night!"

Lizzie giggled. "I bet so! How else is she going to afford all that lipo?"

I laughed. "I know, right?" I was standing outside my homeroom now, so I said, "I have to go, but I'll call you later! Love you!"

"Kay kay, love you too, girl! And thanks for making me feel better."

"Anytime."

After I hung up, I walked into the room. I sat down and took out my coffee.

After a few much-needed sips, Mike Newton came over and said, "So. I know you like me." He smirked, which I'm guessing was supposed to be seductive, but looked more like he had just stubbed his toe.

I held back a laugh and said, "Oh, really? What would make you think that?"

"I saw you checking me out."

"Uh huh. Well, Mike, let me show you something." I took my iPhone back out and found a picture of me and Jake at the beach. I was wearing a string bikini, and he was in his swim trunks. He was holding me bridal-style. We covered for each other like this all the time, by telling people who were hitting on us that we were already taken. I showed Mike, and his eyes bugged out.

"Who is that?" He demanded.

"That would be my boyfriend," I told him, trying not to grin at his expression.

"B-But I thought you said you were single!"

"When I said that, I was. We got back together again the other night."

He slumped and his face was scarlet with humiliation. Then, he swiftly turned around and went back to his desk. I smiled.

By lunch, I so needed another cup of coffee! Since lunch was an hour long, I drove home and filled up my mug. When I went back to my car, I screamed.

"Fuck! Don't DO that to me!" I yelled at Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. They just smiled. "What do you want?"

They got in my car with me, and Alice said, "We just thought we would come see you."

"Uh huh." I didn't believe a word of it, but let it go.

Luckily me phone rang, saving me from the interrogation that I'm sure was coming. Because I was driving, I put it on speaker.

"Hello?" I said.

"Well, if it isn't the Wicked Bitch of the West..."

I knew that voice better than I knew my parents'. I replied, "Why, yes it is, fucknut!"

He laughed. "I just wanted to call because Lizzie told me about her call this morning. She told me what you said about Megan, and I laughed so hard, I almost passed out from lack of oxygen!"

I smirked. "Bitch had it coming."

"She sure did. Why do all of our chick friends come crying to me whenever they get upset?"

"Maybe because they know that you always have tissues and water-proof mascara on you!"

"Hey, those are for you! I'm betting it's just 'cause I'm such a sweet, sensitive, terrific guy."

"You just keep thinking that, Jake." I laughed. At this point, I had forgotten that the others were even in the car.

"So, which hotel are you going to stay in when you come? I'll book you the reservations."

"Oh, I don't need a hotel. I'll just stay with you; I have, like, a whole closet there!"

He laughed. "Not anymore you don't!"

I gasped. "You didn't?"

"I did."

"You bastard! Not my Christian Louboutin boots!"

"Oh, sorry. I gave them to Zoey!"

"You had damn well better be kidding, or I swear I will castrate you and feed your balls to the homeless!"

He laughed. "Chill, Bells, I'm teasing."

I was at school now, so I said, "Well, it wasn't funny, asshole! I have to go, but I'll call you later, and keep you fucking hands away from my shoes! Love ya!"

I hung up.

"So, was he your boyfriend?" Alice asked.

"Gahh!" I yelled. "God, I forgot you were there. No, he isn't my boyfriend."

"Sure sounded like you too were close," she pryed.

"He may be a dick sometimes, but he's my best friend. We know literally everything about each other."

"Everything?" She asked skeptically.

"He even knows what my bra size is," I told her with a laugh.

She and Emmett laughed, too. "That's a little too personal for me!"

"Well, that tends to happen when you've known each other since birth," I said.

"Wow, that's a long time," Jasper said.

"Yeah, we were born 15 minutes apart, in the same hospital room. Our mothers were best friends and the three of us – "I stopped myself. "I mean, the two of us, have been together for the past 17 years."

They looked at me curiously, but didn't push it. I drank my cup of coffee, and sighed in regret when it was gone. Then I took out the extra mug I had filled while in the house. I smiled.

"You really enjoy coffee, don't you," Emmett remarked.

"I think there's a good chance that I'm addicted to it," I told him honestly.

"You don't get hyper when you drink it," Jasper observed, glancing at Alice.

"Coffee calms me," I commented.

We had arrived at the cafeteria, with a good half hour left till class. Everyone was staring at us as we entered. I guess because the reclusive Cullens were actually hanging out with someone else. They invited me to sit with them as they made their way over to Edward and Rosalie. One glance at the crowd waiting to bombard me with questions, and I joined them.

"So, how long do you think it'll be until James finds me?" I asked.

They all looked at each other, then Edward said, "Maybe another couple weeks, if you're lucky."

I was relieved. Just another couple of weeks until this pain, this guilt was over. Jasper looked confused. Hm. Oh, well.

"How old are all of you?" I asked them curiously.

"Pretty old," Jasper said. "I fought in the Civil War, confederacy."

"Whoa!" I gasped.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Edward said.

"Shoot," I responded.

"How did you get that scar?"

I froze. My hand automatically went to the scar, and I flashed back again to the accident. I started rubbing the bracelet like I do when I think about it. There I was again with Jacob and Jasmine, we were in the elevator, and then it started plummeting. I started hyperventilating, and I saw Jazzy laying there, covered in blood. The memory ended and I got up and ran to my car.

I could hear the Cullens following me, but I didn't care. As I sat there, all I could think was that it was all my fault. Tears trickled down my face, and I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. It was Edward.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he said.

Alice came over and said, "We really are sorry."

I wiped my face and told them, "No, it's okay. You didn't know." I was mad that I had let myself go like that. It's just, even after five years, the pain was still fresh every time I thought about it. "We should go back in, the bell is about to ring."

They looked at me doubtfully, but followed me when I walked in. The other Cullens were waiting for us, and Jasper had a pained expression, though it wasn't anywhere near as painful as what I was feeling. During class, I caught several curious and envious looks from people, but I brushed them off. Gym was my last class, and we were doing volleyball. Fortunately, that was one of my favorite sports, and I was volleyball captain at my old school, as well as captain of the cheerleaders. I scored 19 points total before gym finally ended. Tyler came up to me after I came out of the locker room and started walking beside me as I went to the parking lot.

He grinned at me, then said, "So, I heard you turned Mike down."

"Uh huh," I sighed. I knew where this was going.

"Well, I know this great restaurant in Port Angeles, so I'll pick you up at 8:00."

"Um, aren't you forgetting something?"

"Mmm, nope. What?"

I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Oh, I don't know, maybe actually _asking me if I want to go out with you_!" Ugh.

He grinned again and said, "Well, I already know your answer, but if you want to make it official... Will you go out with me tonight?"

I smirked and told him, "I'm going to show you something before I give you my answer." I could see on his face that he thought it would be something sexual. I took out my phone and showed him the picture of me and Jacob. "That would be my boyfriend, and my answer is no."

He turned red, then started stuttering. I said, "No worries, it's all cool."

I wasn't really surprised when the Cullens were waiting for me at my car. Alice practically attacked me with, "I thought you said he wasn't your boyfriend!"

"He's not, but whenever someone that we don't like asks us out, we use each other as an excuse," I explained.

"Oh," she said. "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me and Rose, then have a sleepover?"

I thought about it. I had to leave Saturday afternoon, but I didn't see why I couldn't stay till then. So I said yes.

"GREAT! Let's go!" She yelled, jumping up and down.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer...**

**BPOV**

We got in my car and sped off toward Seattle. At 90 mph, the wind was whipping my hair around, and I felt genuinely happy. I always feel happy when I'm going fast. Alice started chattering about something or other, but I wasn't paying attention. From what the other Cullens told me about Alice and her shopping enthusiasm, today would be a very long day. I needed a cappuccino so badly! I floored the gas, then about ten minutes later, we were at a Starbucks.

"Sorry, I just have to grab a quick coffee!" I told Rosalie and Alice while running for the door.

Once in, I ordered the usual, then paid. I rushed back out and sat in the driver's seat. Ahhh.

"Bella, I honestly think you're addicted to coffee," Alice said seriously.

"Oh, I know. Damn, it's so good, though!" I smiled. "I really don't think I could live without it."

They laughed. "Let's go, now that you've got your caffeine hit," Rosalie said airily.

We got to Barney's pretty quickly, so I finished off my coffee. Alice dragged me in, and the longest shopping day of my entire life began. I bought so many pairs of shoes that I didn't think I could fit all of them in my closet.

"Oh, well. I'll just put them in at Jake's place," I decided.

Rosalie looked at me as I said this, and replied, "You two sure seem to be close. You actually have clothes at his house?"

"Hell, yes. I spent more time at his house than at my own. We...I want to say we're like siblings, but that's not strong enough to describe our relationship."

Here Alice spoke, "Have you two ever tried a different kind of relationship?"

I giggled. "We tried it, but there wasn't any spark. I mean, sure, we had great sex, and some pretty damn hot make-out sessions, but we were just meant to be best friends. I think that he would've had a great relationship with-" I cut off, because I was about to say Jasmine, and that would bring on a crapload of questions that I couldn't handle. As it was, I was on the verge of tears. "Yes, we tried. No, it didn't work out. How about some spa time?"

They looked at me strangely, and I realized that I was rubbing the bracelet. So I stopped and said, "I could sure use a mani-pedi."

Finally, they agreed, but I had a feeling that that discussion wasn't over. Oh, well. I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

Six hours later, our nails looked great and my car was so full of bags that Alice had to sit on Rose's lap. She told me to call her Rose, and I wasn't surprised. Shopping can really bond girls. We got to their house and the rest of their family came out to help us unload. It took forever, and Edward was being rough with the bags. If anything got hurt, he was paying to replace it.

"Careful! Those are my shoes!" I yelled. I loved shoes almost as much as I loved coffee. At last, all of our stuff was put inside, and Rose and Alice dragged me to Alice's room. We sat on the carpet and Alice decided we should play truth-or-dare.

"Rose, truth-or-dare?" Alice asked.

"Dare," she replied bravely.

"Hm, I dare you to...sit in this chair with your eyes closed for 30 minutes while Bella and I do your hair."

She smirked. Not so bad. At least that's what I thought until Alice showed me the green hair dye. I held back a giggle while I washed her hair and Alice mixed the dye. We blow-dried her hair after we dyed it, and then I french-braided it. Alice spun the chair around so that Rose was facing the mirror, the told her to open her eyes. Before she could, though, Alice picked me up and we ran down the stairs and hid behind the safety of the others, who had confused looks on. Then we heard her scream. It was so loud and piercing, I'm sure that people in Forks could hear it. She bolted down the stairs, her hair covered in a cap. Alice and I were laughing so hard we fell to the floor, but Rose wasn't amused.

She then cussed us out so bad that a sailor would've covered his ears. I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen, and I was getting light-headed. I couldn't stop laughing, so I did the one thing that I knew would make me stop. I simply touched the bracelet, and my laughter cut off abruptly.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett thundered.

"It's probably better if you see for yourself," I told them. Alice whipped off Rose's cap, revealing her green hair. I knew they had heard the dare, so they knew it had something to do with her hair, but they were definitely not expecting this! There was one second of dead silence, then they all erupted with laughter.

A good hour later, we had finally resumed our game, and Rose was waiting for a chance to get Alice. When it was my turn, I was scared to pick dare, so I chose truth.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Alice asked eagerly, while I blushed.

I thought back, and remembered it. "15."

"Really?" Rose asked, surprised at how young I had lost my V-card.

"Yep. Now Alice, truth-or-dare?" I asked quickly.

She thought for a second, then picked dare. I grinned. "Okay, first you need to go outside for five minutes so I can tell Rose."

She left, but I didn't want anyone but Rose to know, so I wrote it down. She choked back laughter and high-fived me. We planned it on paper so no one would know, and then called Alice back in. We told her that she had to get everyone out of the house and at least ten miles away. When they were gone, Rose had an evil smile on her face as we went into Alice's closet and completely emptied it. We loaded it into a car, then dropped it off at a second-hand store in town. We went back to the house where I blew a whistle to tell the Cullen's they could come back. To say that Alice freaked would be the understatement of the century. She went batshit CRAZY! Rose wouldn't tell her where her stuff was, so she turned on me.

"Bella, where are the contents of my closet?" She asked me in a dangerously quiet voice.

"I won't tell you," I said in a sing-song voice.

Alice narrowed her eyes and then shoved me up against a wall. "If you don't tell me, I will take off your bracelet!"

I gasped. Tears came to my eyes, and I tried to blink them back. "You wouldn't!"

She put her hand on it, and I gave in, "Fine, it's all in a second-hand store in Forks!"

Alice shrieked. She dropped me, though, thankfully. "A SECOND-HAND STORE? HOW COULD YOU GUYS DO THAT TO ME?"

"Hey, you were the one that decided to dye my hair green!" Rose shouted.

"Alice, think of it this way: Now you get to shop until everything is replaced!" I reasoned.

She thought about that for a moment, then grinned. "And you two get to help me!"

Rose and I groaned, but soon we were all laughing. We got back to the game and Alice asked me, "Truth-or-dare?"

I contemplated this. Dare would almost certainly mean tragedy. So I picked truth.

"Hm, what's the craziest thing that you've ever done while drunk?"

I immediately thought of my tattoo. I had gotten a tattoo of a white rose surrounded by black vines (it was really beautiful, too) on my ass when Jake, Lizzie, Zoey, Dylan and I had gone to a club one night. We all got so wasted.

I laughed, then answered, "My friends and I went out one night and got so wasted, I don't even remember actually doing it, but I woke up with a killer hangover and a tat on my ass."

They both had shocked expressions and for a while, they were utterly speechless. But then they both doubled over in laughter yet again.

"Can we see it?" Rose choked out.

I looked at her then said, "Hell no, but maybe some other time when I know you better."

We finally ended the game and I went to sleep. My last thought was, _Wow, they're cool. I wish there was some way to...but no, like they said, I only have a few weeks left, at most, before James finds me..._

**Sorry it's so short, but I've been really busy the past day or so. The next chapter will be longer! :) Don't forget to R/R! Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I'm just having a little fun with it! :) **

**BPOV**

It occurs to me that waking up in a house full of vampires should be scary, or at least uncomfortable. But for some inexplicable reason, I felt safe and comfortable, like I belong here. I got dressed in the outfit that was laid out for me, knowing Alice would be peeved if I didn't. Then I danced my way downstairs. I have to say, I miss dance classes back in L.A. They were all in the kitchen, waiting for me.

I sat down curiously and said, "What?"

Esme answered kindly, "We made you breakfast. If you don't like it, though, it's fine."

Then she put in front of me a plate filled with pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, and _strawberries_! I quickly backed away and stammered, "C-could you t-take off the s-s-str-strawberries?

She looked baffled, but complied an threw them away. I sighed in relief, and explained, "I, uh, have fragariaphobia. I'm sorry, but I'm insanely afraid of strawberries!"

There was a beat of silence, then Emmett laughed. He outright guffawed! I flinched, thinking he was making fun of me, but, really, how many people have a phobia of freaking strawberries? I understood the reason he was laughing, but that didn't make me feel any more complacent. I glared at him frostily until Rose smacked him on the back of his head.

"Ow, Rose! What was that for?" He whined.

"For laughing at her, you idiot!" She yelled.

"I'm so sorry! I-" Esme started, but I cut her off.

"No, you didn't know. It's my fault."

"Are you afraid of anything else we should know about?" She asked.

I thought for a moment, debating whether to tell them, then said quietly, "Elevators."

Emmett laughed again and said loudly, "Why are you afraid of elevators?"

I sucked in a painful breath and retorted, "None of your goddamn business!"

I took a bite of the pancakes and chewed thoughtfully. They were all waiting impatiently to hear the verdict. I inwardly smiled.

"So?" Alice was bouncing up and down.

"SO...I have to say, I honestly think that this pancake..." They waited in suspense. "Is quite possibly the best pancake I have ever tasted!" I smiled.

Esme sighed in relief, while the others laughed. I joked, "But what other option was there for the oh-so-perfect Cullens?"

Emmett got a glint in his eye then spoke, "So, does that mean that you'll show us the tattoo on your ass?"

If vampires could blush, I think Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle would have. "Uh, how 'bout no? I highly doubt that you will _ever _see that, Emmett!"

His face fell. "But-"

"No ifs, ands, or buts about it!"

"Fine," he muttered sullenly.

"I don't suppose you have a cappuccino-maker, do you?"

Rose laughed and gave me a cup of coffee that smelled delicious. I took a slow sip of it, and moaned in pleasure. "Oh, my god. It's so GOOD!"

Emmett laughed again, for obvious reasons, and I told him, "Shut the hell up, Emmett! You're ruining my coffee."

I had finished the food, which was all delicious, so I said, "Well, this was really fun! And as much as I enjoy your company, I have to go."

Alice jumped up and protested, as I knew she would, "But you can't go! I have our whole day planned out, and it's Saturday!"

I smiled weakly and informed her, "I have a, um, something I have to do that is, uh, on a time-sensitive schedule."

She looked at me blankly.

I rolled my eyes and said slowly, "I have to do something somewhere else, and I can't be late."

I had already packed my stuff before I came down, so I hugged her briefly before going upstairs and dragging my stuff down. Jasper walked over and handed me my special mug. It was a gift from my friends, and I absolutely loved it.

I frowned in confusion and he explained, "We got it from your car, and filled it up for you."

I was touched. No one had ever done that for me before, and I really appreciate it, even if it may seem insignificant. I hugged him, not caring that he went rigid. "Thanks, Jasper!" I let go.

He smiled and said, "You're welcome."

I knew that he had the most trouble with his bloodlust, but I didn't care. I trusted him, even if he didn't trust himself. I got in my car with all my stuff (shoes included) and waved, "See you at school!"

Forty-five minutes later, I was at the airport. I had stopped along the way and bought several large suitcases, then carefully packed all the stuff from our shopping spree yesterday. Since I didn't have room for it all in my closet, I would put it in Jake's. Airport security was a hassle, as always, because I wouldn't take off my bracelet, but eventually I got through without having to remove it. I slept in comfort the whole way, thanks to my first-class seat.

I got off the plane, dragging my carry-on, and saw Jake. He didn't see me yet, so I decided to surprise him. I sneakily got behind him then launched myself onto his back, yelling, "JAKE!

To say he was shocked would be an understatement, but after he swung me around and saw that it was me, he shouted, "BELLS!"

We hugged fiercely before going off to baggage claim, and let me tell you, I had a LOT of baggage. I made Jake carry them to his car (a Mercedes Benz SLS AMG) until we realized that his sports car was definitely not going to have room for all my stuff. We quickly decided to call a cab to bring the suitcases to his house. I got out of the car once we got there, only to be assaulted by Lizzie. We shrieked and did the girly little jump-dance-hug thing that girls do while watching Jake lug all my stuff upstairs to his room. He finally finished, so he ran at us and knocked us all onto the enormous couch, and we lay there exploding in laughter. We saw a flash and looked up. His housekeeper, Jillian, had taken a picture of us.

She laughed and said, "You all should frame this!"

Jillian is a few years older than us, but we treat her like one of the gang. She's really cool, and we all love her just as much as she loves us. Jillian is like our loving older sister.

"JILLIAN!" I screamed. "Put the camera on timer and get over here!"

She did, and then jumped on us, as we giggled hysterically again. The flash went off and we all jumped up to go see the picture. It was perfect. We were all tangled up together, mid-laugh, and we looked so happy. We all loved it.

After settling down a little, we all flopped back on the sofa and started catching up. Somewhere along, the conversation turned towards by love life.

"So, meet any cute guys down in Forks?" Jake asked me.

I blushed slightly, then responded with, "Maybe."

Lizzie squealed and said, "Do you have a picture of him?"

I took out my iPhone and found the family photo of the Cullens that Alice gave me. I zoomed in and showed them Jasper.

Jillian sighed, "Damn! That is a hottie with an extra dose of awesome sauce!"

Lizzie giggled, "Ooo, I bet he tastes good!"

"His name is Jasper. This one's Emmett, and he's really a big teddy bear. That's Rosalie, and she's with Emmett, so don't even think about it. She can be really bitchy, but underneath that is a really great person. That's Carlisle and Esme, they're happily married. Oh, that little one is Alice, and she is like a big ball of energy! Seriously, she scares me sometimes. The little pixie takes 'shop till you drop' to a whole new level. She's with that one, his name is Edward. He's really nice, and pretty cool," I finished.

"They sound awesome," Jake said sincerely, but with a trace of sadness. "I'm glad that you have such great friends there."

"As incredible as they are, though, no one could _ever, ever, ever, ever_ take any of your places. I love you all to pieces," I reassured them.

We all hugged, and then to lighten the mood, I exclaimed, "Oh, I brought presents!"

I ran up to my luggage, and found the Armani shoes I got for Jacob, the fabulous pink Manolo Blahnik gladiator pumps for Lizzie, and a Prada purse for Jillian. I gave Lizzie her shoes, and she went crazy! She immediately put them on and started admiring them. Lizzie doesn't have much money, so she was ecstatic to get such expensive shoes. Then I gave Jillian her purse, and she loved it! Jake pays her a lot more than most housekeepers, but she would have to save for several months to buy that purse. When Jake saw the shoes I got him, he ran over and damn near squeezed the life out of me with his bear-hug.

We wanted to do something fun and wacky together, so I suggested skydiving! That idea was met with whooping and applause, so we left after calling a couple more friends an telling them to meet us there. We even hired a last-minute photographer to take pics of us while in the air. It was only when we were about to jump that I realized how crazy this was. Still, when it was my turn, I leaped out of the plane and plummeted down to the ground. I yanked the parachute when I was 1500 feet in the air, as instructed, then found myself gently floating down. The view was amazing. When I reached the earth, I rolled as I had been told to do (it was really easy with my martial arts training) and stopped. I whooped in victory, and the others joined me. The photographer showed us the best picture he took, which was of all of us in the air, grins on our faces, and parachutes out. We were all really photogenic, apparently.

After the adrenaline rush left us, we were all tired so Jake, Jillian, Lizzie, Zoey, Dylan, Jared, and I went back to Jake's place. We put on our pajamas and decided to watch a movie, but ten minutes in, we were all sprawled out together on the floor, sound asleep. My head was on Dylan's chest, my feet in Lizzie's lap, Zoey was using my thigh as a pillow, while Jake laid his head on my stomach, and Jared had laid diagonally with his head on Zoey's stomach and his feet in my lap. I noticed right before drifting off that Jillian wasn't there, but she was when we woke up, pillowing Lizzie's head in her lap, while propped against a half dozen pillows. It reminded me of a litter of puppies. The flash of a camera woke me up, and I saw Jake's mom take our picture, but I drifted back to sleep. We all woke up at the same time to the smell of bacon and pancakes.

Dylan moaned, "Food!"

Jake's mom, Maria, was in the kitchen cooking, so we all dragged ourselves up and followed our noses. Luckily, their kitchen was big. I sat on a bar stool in my tank top and matching short shorts, my hair a mess. Lizzie, Zoey, and Jillian were wearing the same thing as me, but in different colors. The boys just wore long flannel pajama pants and no shirts. Maria laughed at us, then fixed us all a plate. We dug in, and she gave us seconds, then thirds, before we were finally full. After looking around the room at each other, we came to the mutual and silent decision that today would be a lazy day.

After one of the best days of my life, we all passed out on the floor again. I was so grateful that I had such wonderful friends that loved me for who I was, not how much money I had, and that we were all so close. I was also kind of glad that we were all just friends, because I really think that relationships wouldn't have worked out, plus it would've been awkward. Dylan and I had tried it briefly before I left, but had a clean and mutual break-up. We were all best friends, and that's it.

I woke up again, snuggled in between Jared and Zoey. After breakfast, everybody except Jake and I left. We went up to his room and laid on the bed in comfortable silence.

"What do you wanna do today?" He asked me.

I thought for a second, then said, "Well, since tomorrow is..."

"I know."

My breath hitched as I thought about how tomorrow would be the five-year anniversary for the day that Jazzy died. I got my breathing under control, and started again, "Why don't we get those tattoos?"

Jake cleared his throat, trying to get the tears out of his voice before he spoke, "Sounds like a good idea, she would like it."

So we went to a tattoo shop and even though we were under 18, it was almost too easy to flash some cash to get the tattoo artist to do us. She asked us what we wanted to get, and I sketched out an idea. Jake nodded his approval. It was a white jasmine flower, dripping tears. A black vine came out of the bottom of the flower and twisted around it to created a pretty long design. Out of the vine, an elegant script "J" could be seen, just under the flower. It was beautiful and intricate, yet simple at the same time. Just like Jazzy...

Jake got his on the side of his hip, so that it wrapped around the front and back of his body. I decided to get mine just below my navel. The effect was magnificent as the vine swirled around the sides of my stomach. It was pretty low, and stretched across to my hips. I loved it, and I knew Jasmine would, too.

Jake and I left, and we were both happy with the tattoos, satisfied that we would and could never forget her.

The next week passed in a blur. The gang joined us and we went scuba diving, water-skiing, motorcycle riding, bungee jumping, and even camping. We had a group camping trip that lasted two days, with a camp fire, s'mores, and everything! It was probably the best week of my life. We were all so sad when I had to leave, me especially, knowing that this was probably the last time I would see them, thanks to James.

I left most of my new clothes and shoes with Jake, and he didn't put up much of a fight. He knew I could get my way, plus he really didn't mind much anyway. I flew home and got in my car. Before venturing home, I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat in silence while I drank it. I got another one to go, then drove to Forks.

The next day, school was brutal. Everyone was so nosy about where I had been, but I didn't tell them anything. At lunch, I sat with the Cullens. I could tell they had been worried out of their minds that James had gotten me. The minute I sat down, the interrogation began.

Alice demanded, "Where were you?"

"L.A."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going?"

I didn't answer for a minute, then said, "Because the trip was personal. Or rather, my reason for going was personal. I only needed one day, but I wanted to see all my close friends."

"When you say _was_-"

"No, I'm not telling you. With the exception of one thing, however, I will tell you what I did," I offered.

She squealed, "Ooo, what did you do?"

I got out my phone to show them the pictures. I had gotten copies of all the pictures taken, and I had some blown up several feet so I could hang them in my room.

"This is from when we went sky-diving," I captioned the pictures. They all were excited, but Edward looked disapproving.

"Humans are so fragile. You really should be more careful," he said with a frown.

I replied, "If I only have a couple weeks left, I'm going to make the most of them."

They all grimaced and clenched their fists at the mention of James. Emmett said, "You don't have to worry about that. We won't let him get to you."

I closed my eyes as I told them quietly, "And what if I want him to find me, to end my life?"

They spoke over each other as they yelled at me for even thinking that. The bell rang, and Alice ordered, "Let's go. We're skipping class."

They loaded me into Edward's Volvo and Emmett drove my car to their house. I warned him to be careful with it, but I'm pretty sure that's the last thing he's going to do with a car like mine. They sat me down in the living room and told me to explain why I kept acting like I didn't want to live.

I took a deep breath and said, "I don't deserve to live. You all look at me and assume that I'm so innocent, but I've done something worse than any of you have. I can't live with knowing how awful I am. I just can't do it anymore."

No one said anything until Carlisle spoke, "What could you possibly do that's worse that what we've done?"

I thought. Should I tell them about Jasmine? I'd never told anyone, ever. It was solely between me and Jake. What if they hated me and were disgusted and horrified by me once I told them? What if they killed me themselves? Well, that part wouldn't be so bad, at least they would make it quicker that James would. I hated to think of them feeling that way about me, but they deserve to know the truth about who they think is so innocent. They all think that they're monsters, but real monsters are people like me. I didn't want to tell them, but I felt like they had a right to know just who it was they were calling a friend. I didn't realize I was crying until Esme came over with a box of Kleenex. That's what made my decision. That they were such good people, even if they didn't think they were, was the deciding factor. They shouldn't even be near someone like me. I decided to tell them.

I spoke through the tears as I told them the reasons behind my decision to tell them. I could see disbelief written on their faces at my logic, but I didn't care.

"Does this have to do with your bracelet and your scar?" Jasper asked.

I nodded. I launched into the horrible story then. "When Jake and I were born, I told you how we were born in the same room, and how we've been best friends ever since. What I didn't tell you is that there was another person born in that room with us, a girl named Jasmine." My voice broke when I said her name, but I kept going. "Jasmine was so selfless and happy all the time. We were all so close. We had this tradition since we could walk that whenever it rained, we ran outside together, no matter how hard it was raining, and spun around in circles until we collapsed. One day when we were twelve, it rained while we were on the playground, so we spun around...we were all laughing and singing at the top of our lungs. We sounded terrible, but we laughed it off. We decided to walk a couple blocks to an abandoned office building that we liked to explore. Jazzy didn't want to walk the whole way, so Jake and I took turns carrying her. We climbed up the stairs until we got to the fifth floor. Jazz found a rusty elevator, and when we pushed the button, it worked! Jacob yelled, 'Let's do it!' Jazz didn't want to, though. She was scared. She wasn't going to get in, but then I started teasing her and telling her to get in. So she did. We pushed all the buttons, and we got to the twelfth floor. But then the elevator just dropped. We were screaming and holding hands. It plummeted all the way to the basement. The impact from hitting the bottom made it crumble. After a few minutes, it stopped. I asked them if they were okay. Jake was fine, but Jazzy didn't say anything. I sat up and screamed when I saw her. A chunk of the elevator had hit her in the head, and blood was pouring out of her. Jake and I tried to get her out, but she knew she wouldn't make it. So she asked us to promise her two things. One, that we would live life to the fullest, as if each day was our last, because each day was a gift to be cherished. And two, that we wouldn't forget her. We promised, and then...she died. We got bracelets that were engraved with 'FIMT.' It stands for 'Forever In My Thoughts.' Then we slit our wrists and swore a blood oath that we would never forget her. We also...We also got tattoos to help us feel like we were remembering her better." I thought about showing it to them but didn't.

They were all speechless, yet again. Then Esme said, "How in the world could you possibly think that what happened is _your_ fault?"

I sobbed, "She wasn't going to get in the elevator, but then I pressured her into it. If I hadn't she would still be alive!"

Surprisingly, Emmett spoke then, "Hey, I know that what happened may seem like your fault, but it's not. It's just a freak accident. It's not anyone's fault. You can't blame yourself for that."

I shook my head, though. It _was _my fault, no matter how many people thought otherwise. I knew it was my fault. They tried to get through to me that it wasn't, but I knew. Eventually, Carlisle told the others to let me get some sleep, that I had been through an incredible emotional feat, and I needed to rest. I let him carry me upstairs and put me into a bed.

"Sleep," he ordered gently. Then he left. I fell into unconsciousness almost immediately. A wonderful, dreamless unconsciousness.

**My longest chapter yet! Hope you liked it... Don't forget to R/R!**

**Here's the like for Jacob's shoes: **

**.com/item/store/EMPORIO+ARMANI/tskay/5D6D5085/rr/1/cod10/44239313HN/areaid/sts/**

**Here's the link for Lizzie's shoes: **

**.com/Berti/500543062,default,**

**Here's the link for Jillian's purse:**

**.com/Turn-Lock-Bag/00505007026997,default,**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, I had writer's block. :( Oh, and if you're looking for another great Twilight fic, I read this incredible one called Bella's Past by Smile-J. It's amazing, definitely one of the best I have ever read, maybe even better than the actual Twilight books. The sequel is called Pentacle Prophesy, and it's equally as fantastic as the first story. So check it out! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, blah blah blah, you get the idea.**

*****PLEASE READ*** I decided to change it from a Bella x Edward to a Bella x Jasper. So, just pretend that Edward is with Alice, and just replace Edward with Jasper when they were spying on Bella, riding in the car with Bella, hanging with Bella in general. Thanks!**

**JPOV**

I could feel Bella's pain and guilt, and I have to say, I had seriously underestimated how deeply her experience hurt her. The pain nearly brought me to my knees, and I'm a vampire. I had no idea how she withstood this kind of anguish. The emotions that hit me after Bella finished her story were almost overwhelming, especially the ones coming from Bella herself. She was feeling pain, guilt, self-hatred, frustration, horror and expectation. Carlisle lifted her easily from the couch and carried her up to the guest room. I found myself feeling jealous, wishing that I had enough control to do that. When he came back down, he was stunned. So was everyone else, too. Alice was the first one to speak.

"How can she possibly think that's her fault?" She exclaimed.

I answered, "I don't know how she can blame herself, but she does. The pain she feels, just thinking about it, is excruciating. I don't know how she can stand it. The kind of guilt and agony she's experiencing is enough to kill a lot of humans."

"That poor child! I can't even imagine how she feels," Esme sympathized sorrowfully.

Edward spoke, then, "What the hell would make her think that 'what she's done' is worse than what we've done? That she's a bad person?"

We all wondered the same thing. Bella was obviously a very selfless, caring, and simply _good _person! She was innocent, and yet she was being eaten up inside by self-hatred. It made me feel so bad, like I was that much more of a monster, and I knew the others were thinking the same thing. We all broke up and went off by ourselves to think about what had just transpired. I decided to go hunting; I needed to be away from all this emotion. Alice and Emmett came with me, Rose went to work on her car, Edward went to his piano while Esme listened, and Carlisle went to read some medical books.

**BPOV**

When I woke up, it took me a moment to realize where I was. Then I remembered last night, and all the pain that had been held at bay by the bliss of unconsciousness came rushing back.

_They must hate me now. _A tear slipped out at that thought. _I might as well get up and go face it._

I got out of bed and saw an outfit, complete with accessories, laid out. _Alice. _I dressed slowly, dreading what was waiting for me, then took a deep breath and went downstairs. I didn't see anyone at first, so I went to the kitchen and looked for some coffee. There was no way I could face this without coffee. Hell, I might not be able to do this even with coffee. I sighed, and continued the search. I turned around and there was Jasper, standing in front of me.

"Fuck!" I yelled. My heart was beating so fast, it felt like I was having a heart attack.

The corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile, and he said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's fine. Really. I'll just stand here and go into cardiac arrest! Jesus," I gasped.

Now he did smile. "Were you looking for something?"

"Yeah, coffee."

"Ah, right here," he opened a cabinet, and there was a coffee maker sitting inside, with an empty mug next to it. He poured a cup full, then handed it to me. Our hands touched, and he tensed. I, however, didn't react. The cold didn't bother me.

I took the coffee from him and brought it to my lips. The scent wafted up my nose and I took a sip. Ahhhh, much better. I had drained the mug in ten seconds, and felt fantastic. I poured some more, then, with my eyes closed, slowly drank it all. When I set down the mug, I noticed that Alice and Emmett were standing with Jasper, all of them watching me. I wondered why they weren't leaving me, or at least looking at me with disgust.

Alice giggled then said, "I told Carlisle about your coffee addiction."

I suddenly felt defensive of my habit, and returned, "It's not an addiction, I just happen to really enjoy it! Don't you have better things to do than gossip about my appreciation of coffee?"

Emmett and Jasper chuckled, and Alice teasingly snapped, "Like what?"

"Like, maybe, shopping online, or making out with Edward, or violating my privacy by looking at all the pictures on my phone that weren't meant for your eyes."

"Ooo, good idea!" She squealed.

"Which one?"

"All of them!"

I smiled, shaking my head at her. Just as long as I'm not in the room when you do it."

"Which one?"

"All of them!" I squealed like she had just done (with fake enthusiasm, of course).

This made them all laugh. I walked over to the couch and laid down. They followed, and Alice blurred up the stairs, returning with my phone. I asked where the others were, and Jasper told me that Carlisle, Rose, Edward, and Esme had all gone hunting.

Alice opened my photos and questioned me on each one. "Who's this?"

"My friends." She was looking at the picture from my trip to L.A. in which we were all splayed out together, asleep.

Emmett and Jasper listened with Alice as I told the story behind each picture, and my relationship with each person. By the time we finished looking at pictures, it was almost dinner. My stomach growled and they all laughed.

"Oops, we forgot to feed you. Humans sure need to eat a lot," Alice trilled.

I smirked at her sarcastically, and then jumped when my phone started ringing. Jillian had changed my ringtone to Without Me by Neverset, so the phone was blaring out heavy metal music. Alice tossed it to me, and I answered. I noticed that she had gone to make me some food, and I leaned back against the sofa.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Well, the Wicked Bitch of the West has landed her broomstick back in Forks!" Jake laughed.

"What do you want, fucknut?" I teased.

"What a way to greet your very favorite people in the world!" He faked hurt.

I was confused. "People?"

"Hey, Bells!" "Hi, Bella!" "Yo, B!" "Bella!" Dylan, Lizzie, Jared, and Zoey's voices chorused over the phone.

I laughed. "Hey!"

"So, I heard that you put a shitload of new shoes in Jake's closet...," Zoey trailed off hopefully.

"You heard right," I told her.

She shrieked in excitement.

I sighed. "Yes, you can borrow them, but if you get so much as a scratch on any of them, so help me God, I will come out there and cut off your freaking feet!"

She yelled, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Bells!"

"Yeah, yeah. And let me guess, Jared wants to borrow my sequined purse," I teased.

He groaned loudly, "Oh, come on, Bella! That was one fucking time!"

We all laughed. I exclaimed, "Yeah, and I'll never let you forget it!"

Jared groaned again, and retorted, "Oh, yeah? Well, remember when we went to that bar a couple months ago and got totally wasted, and you started sucking face with that-"

"Okay, okay! I'll never mention it ever again!" I panicked. That was so awful. I got so shit-faced drunk that I started making out with a girl, and we were going to get married. I swore I would never get drunk again, although that lasted about two weeks.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, bitch!" He loved teasing me.

Alice came over with a plateful of food that smelled delicious, so I said, "Hey, I've gotta go, I love you guys!"

"Love you, too!" They yelled.

I hung up and Alice said, "I got some recipes from the Food Channel, so tell me what you think!"

Emmett grinned at me and said, "So, you wanna tell us what you did at the bar when you got drunk...?"

I blushed bright red, and cringed. "No, thanks."

Alice looked confused and said, "What did I miss?"

I groaned and buried my face in the decorative pillow on the couch. They finally threatened to burn all my shoes if I didn't tell them, so I covered my face with my hands and told them, "Okay, we went to a bar a couple of months ago, and we all got totally wasted. I, um, started making out with, um, a girl. I don't even remember her name, but apparently she was as drunk as me. We decided we were going to get...married. I passed out and woke up on the ground outside the bar with that girl, Jared, and Dylan. I made them both swear never to tell anyone ever again or else I would hunt them down and castrate them."

Emmett laughed so loud that I'm sure anyone within five miles could hear, and apparently I was right, because the rest of the Cullens came in a few seconds later. Rosalie asked what was so funny, and Emmett laughed even harder. Jasper was trying to suppress a smile, and Alice was sitting there with her mouth hanging open.

I quickly yelled, "Nothing! Absolutely nothing is funny, isn't that right, Emmett?"

He smirked.

"You know, what I told Jared and Dylan applies to you, too," I threatened.

"Yeah, right. You wouldn't!" He snorted.

I showed him a silent video on my phone of me coming after Jared with a knife (except he didn't know that it was for a play, hehe). If vampires could get pale, he would have.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rose demanded.

"Um, we were just talking about how Bella went, uh, dancing with her friends," Emmett stammered.

I winked at him. "Yep, sure were!"

Rose glared at us, but let it go. Phew, crisis averted! After I finished eating, I went home and decided to practice my guitar, then my clarinet, then my piano, and finally my saxophone. I played several more instruments (I've always loved music), but I didn't bring them with me to Forks. For lunch I had a salad that I tossed together. With nothing to do, I decided to call Jared. His light personality always cheered me up. We talked for a couple hours, and then hung up. For me, being bored can be very dangerous, and I thought about that as I packed a beach bag to go to La Push. Cliff diving, there's something I hadn't done in a while. The adrenaline rush from it was amazing. I just loved it!

I drove out to the beach and up to the cliffs. It was a warm day, thankfully. I stripped to my royal purple bikini and peered over to see how far down it was. Then, I walked back a few yards and took a deep breath before running over the edge, jumping headfirst into the waves. I plunged in in a perfect dive. The waves were brutal, and I was glad that Renee had made me take a swimming class with her. Fighting my way to the top, I realized that if I wanted to, I could just stay down here and let this pain end. But then I thought about Jake. I just couldn't do that to him, make him lose both his best friends.

After a few more dives, I got hungry, so I dried off and slipped in my car for privacy as I changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a teal halter top that matched my flip-flops. Instead of eating alone at home again, I went to a little restaurant on the reservation. I gracefully slid into my chair and glanced at the menu. I ordered a hamburger and a Diet Pepsi, then waited for it to come out. It was really good, so I left a pretty big tip and went over the the cash register to pay. A guy about my age was paying, but didn't have enough money, so I reached over and smoothly handed the cashier a twenty.

He looked at me gratefully and said, "Thanks so much!"

"No problem," I told him. I had plenty of cash to spare.

He tried to tell me that he'd pay me back, but I wouldn't let him.

"My name's Seth, by the way," he said.

I smiled at him. "Sapphire."

He invited me to come to a bonfire with his friends and I accepted. It didn't start for an hour, though, so we talked until then. I learned that Seth had an older sister named Leah, was 17-years-old, and lots of other little tidbits about him like his favorite movie, etc. We had a lot in common, and he was really sweet, and really good-looking, too. I was really anxious for the bonfire to start so I could meet people that weren't vampires. I mean, I think the Cullens are all great people and I'm definitely not worried about them eating me or anything, but it would be nice to have a few friends in Forks that were normal.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight, with the exception of this storyline.**

**Hey, to apologize for my neglect of this story for several days, I wrote two chapters for you guys! Hope you forgive me for being so slow to update!**

**So, you guys check out that story? Hope you did, 'cause it's really freaking good! If you didn't, then here's hoping you will: Bella's Past by Smile-J, sequel is called Pentacle Prophesy. :)**

**JPOV**

I heard Bella opening a drawer down in the kitchen, so I walked in at vampire speed and saw her bent over looking in a cabinet. Her shirt had ridden up in the back and I saw thin black vines twisting and curling up her lower back. I guessed it was part of that tattoo that she told Alice and Rose about. My eyes traveled a little bit further, and I saw her designer jeans hugging her tight backside perfectly. After a tenth of a second, I pulled my gaze away from her body, the image locked into my mind, and focused on the cabinet door instead. I knew she didn't feel that way about me. Bella stood up and turned around, jumping when she saw me.

"Fuck!" She yelled, her heart pounding way too fast.

It was adorable, and I forced myself to restrain a smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's fine. Really. I'll just stand here and go into cardiac arrest," she gasped, and this time I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Were you looking for something?"

Her breathing was steadier as she replied, "Yeah, coffee."

I mentally laughed as I replied and got some for her. She really was a little addict. As I handed her the coffee, our hands touched and I tensed, anticipating her flinch. But she didn't. No emotional reaction either. Hm.

Bella grabbed the drink and downed it quickly. She got some more, then, and this time savored it slowly. Emmett and Alice came in while she was drinking.

When she looked up and saw them, Alice giggled and told her, "I told Carlisle about your coffee addiction."

Bella snapped defensively, "It's not an addiction, I just happen to really enjoy it! Don't you have better things to do than gossip about my appreciation of coffee?"

I chuckled, as did Emmett. Alice playfully pouted, "Like what?"

"Like, maybe, shopping online, or making out with Edward, or violating my privacy by looking at all the pictures on my phone that weren't meant for your eyes."

Alice squealed, "Ooo, good idea!"

"Which one?"

"All of them!"

Bella shook her head and smiled, saying, "Just as long as I'm not in the room when you do it."

"Which one?"

"All of them!" Bella mimicked Alice's squeal perfectly, and we all laughed. Bella really had a great sense of humor.

Bella went over to the couch and laid down, reclining on the multitude of pillows. Emmett and I followed, and Alice went upstairs to get Bella's phone so we could look at pictures.

"Where did the others go?" Bella inquired.

"They all went hunting," I informed her, watching closely with my eyes and my gift for negative reactions. Once again, there were none.

Alice darted over and sat down next to Bella. Emmett and I wanted to see the pictures too, so we lifted Bella's legs and sat down, then laid them back down across our laps. We started looking through the pictures, and the ones of Bella with other boys made me jealous, though I knew I didn't have any reason to be. I shouldn't like her that way. I didn't even know when I realized that I had feelings for her. 683 pictures later, her stomach growled, and we realized that it was nearly time for her dinner.

"Oops, we forgot to feed you. Humans sure need to eat a lot," Alice remarked.

Bella smirked sarcastically and opened her mouth to say something, but then her cell phone started ringing. I was surprised by her hard rock ringtone. Alice left then to make Bella some food.

"Hello," she answered.

"Well, the Wicked Bitch of the West has landed her broomstick back in Forks!" The boy laughed. I felt angry that he called her that, but I remembered the name and the voice from the call she received in the car on the way back to school. It was Jake.

Apparently there were several people on the phone, and I knew who they were from Bella's descriptions, stories, and pictures. I listened as they talked, and wondered why the hell Jared would borrow a sequined purse. Then I wondered what Bella did at the bar when she got drunk that she was so embarrassed about. Then Alice came over with a plate of food for Bella, so she said goodbye to her friends and hung up.

Alice gave her the plate and said, ""I got some recipes from the Food Channel, so tell me what you think!"

Then, being the total idiot that he is, Emmett grinned at Bella and said, "So, you wanna tell us what you did at the bar when you got drunk...?"

Bella blushed bright red and cringed as she mumbled, "No, thanks."

I felt Alice's confusion as she asked, "What did I miss?"

Bella groaned and dropped her head onto a pillow. This just inflamed all our curiosity, so we pushed and threatened her into telling us.

"Okay, we went to a bar a couple of months ago, and we all got totally wasted. Anyway, I, um, started making out with, um, a girl. I don't even remember her name, but apparently she was as drunk as me. We decided we were going to get...married. I passed out and woke up on the ground outside the bar with that girl, Jared, and Dylan. I made them both swear never to tell anyone ever again or I would hunt them down and castrate them," she admitted.

I was completely astonished. It was really funny, but in a kind of gay, twisted way. Emmett sure got a kick out of it, though I'm sure he won't be telling anyone. I felt his fear when Bella threatened him and showed him that video. After Bella left, Alice wanted to follow her home again. I put up a fight, but what Alice wants, Alice gets. Emmett didn't want to be near her after that not-so-subtle threat, so Edward came along. That made them both happy because they could be together. Unfortunately, that meant that I had to feel their constant love.

When we got to her house, Chief Swan was at the station, so she was alone. We heard her play several different instruments, and I have to say, I was really impressed. She was singing along to the piano in French, too. Was there anything she couldn't do? After she finished practicing, she ate lunch, and called her friend, Jared. They talked awhile and then Bella put some beach items in a designer tote bag.

"The only beach around is La Push," Edward pointed out needlessly.

Alice whined, "We can't follow her there!"

I sighed. I really didn't want to let her out of my sight, but what choice did we have? When Bella left, I felt Alice get mischievous, while Edward felt apprehensive and guilty.

"What?" I demanded.

Alice looked sly as she said, "Let's go look in her room! I already saw us doing it, so save us some time and don't argue."

I relented, and we went into her room. It smelled just like her, and it was so concentrated, I almost lost it. But then I remembered the strange feelings of love that I realized I had for her and managed to use every last shred of control in my body to not go hunt her down and kill her. Alice immediately started snooping.

Alice opened a drawer and commented, "Wow, she has a lot of lingerie!"

I tried hard not to think about that, and who she might've worn that for. Alice quickly distracted me though when she noticed a laptop sitting open on Bella's desk. She moved the mouse and the screensaver disappeared. Bella was in the middle of writing an email when she left it, apparently. It was pretty mundane stuff, mostly about the weather, her clothes, and how she was running out of gourmet coffee. I smiled when I read that part. She didn't add the email address, though, so we couldn't see who it would be sent to.

Bella had almost as many clothes as Alice, and lots and lots of shoes. She also had some drawing paper out with sketches of random things on it, like a rundown little church that I recognized from Greece. She made it look entirely beautiful, and I wondered if she had actually been to Greece, or if it was just something she had seen in a picture. Bella also had a pretty big candy stash, too. We finally left, and we all felt really guilty for invading her privacy like that. However, from Bella's behavior in general, we (or at least I) kind of felt that she wouldn't really have minded, had she known. Back at home, I had absolutely nothing to do, and I was completely bored out of my harder-than-diamond skull.

**Sorry, it's kinda short, but for some reason, I'm having some seriously heinous writer's block. :( Maybe I've been watching too much Ghost Whisperer, but if any of you readers have any brilliant ideas, let me know please!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Not mine...property of Stephanie Meyer...blah, blah, blah. And I am so, so, so, SO SORRY for taking so long! I'm in the middle of moving, and my laptop is being stupid because it absolutely hates me, etc, etc, etc. Anyhow, I'm sorry. I recently watched Inception, and it was absolutely AWESOMESAUCE! I totally loved it. Check out my favorites list if you want to read some kick-ass Inception fics.**

**BPOV**

People started showing up to the bonfire, and they were really nice. Seth introduced me to all of them, and then we all went out to look for sticks to use for roasting our hot dogs. It was a La Push tradition that we had to find our own skewers for each bonfire. I found one quickly, and hung back to talk to Seth and Paul while the others kept looking.

"So, why'd you move to Forks, of all places?" Paul asked.

I shrugged, saying, "I wanted a change. And Forks is definitely different from L.A."

They laughed. Then Seth exclaimed, "Hey, they're opening the hot dogs. Come on!"

We ran over to the bonfire and got a couple hot dogs, well, I got a couple. Seth and Paul each got eight! While we were eating, we went around telling our most embarrassing moments. It was hilarious! That is, until it was my turn. Then I wasn't so excited...

"No, I really don't think mine is worth telling! It's definitely not as funny as yours!" I pleaded with Sam.

He laughed, "Too bad. Tell us."

I took a deep breath. "Fine, but you all have to swear you won't tell anyone!" They did, so I groaned and told them about how I got wasted and almost married that lesbian.

Every single one of them laughed so hard you'd think I sprayed them all with laughing gas!

Leah gasped, "Oh, god! That is...oh, god! That's good!"

I pouted, "Yeah, yeah. Make fun. But you can't hold it against me if I wasn't sober! And remember, that story NEVER leaves this bonfire!"

Zach chortled, "Sure. Whatever you say, lesbo!"

I made a face and hit him with my skewer. "If I find out that you leaked that story, I swear to God, I will beat you to a bloody, gooey, paste!"

After a few more cracks about my story, it was nearly two in the morning! I had no idea it was anywhere near that late! Time flies, I guess...

The next morning, I rolled out of bed, started my cappuccino maker, then hopped in the shower, relishing the hot water that soothed my muscles. My thoughts drifted to James, and how it no doubt wouldn't be long until he finally got me, but I was starting to hope it would be. I found that, oddly enough, my feelings for all my friends and family were actually nearly as strong as my desire to put myself out of my misery. I knew I was a coward, but as I thought about it, I realized that whether or not it was my fault, Jazzy wouldn't want for me to blame myself. I know that if the tables had been turned, I would kill her myself if she even started to blame herself.

Despite this epiphany, though, the guilt was still there. The death of an innocent little girl isn't something to be taken lightly, after all. Even so, I felt just a little bit lighter. I smiled, then noticed that the water was now cold, almost icy, so I got out and wrapped a fluffy towel around myself.

I made my way slowly over to my coffee, then took a leisurely sip of it as I went to my closet. Hm...a red Lanvin one-shoulder top with a black pair of 7 For All Mankind skinny jeans and black thigh-high Christian Louboutin boots. I added some white gold hoop earrings that Mom and Phil gave me for my birthday one year, then a Nina Bukvic diamond bib necklace. Reconsidering, I decided that the necklace was just a little too fancy for school. Instead, I wore an Ileana Makri peace sign necklace. Perfect.

I danced around the room, singing I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry while I waited for my second cappuccino to be ready. After a few verses, it was, so I grabbed it, filled up my mug, and went out to my car. I wasn't surprised to see the Cullens in my driveway in Edward's Volvo. I smiled.

Rose called out, "Do you want to ride with us today?"

"Sure!" I answered eagerly.

I climbed in next to Emmett and closed the door. Alice turned on the radio and Paparazzi by Lady Gaga came on. We all sang along to it as we drove to school and I recorded us on the video camera on my iPhone. We got out laughing, and I realized that I loved them! Today seemed to be full of discoveries...

A few classes later, I was sitting at my desk with Angela, the shy girl, as the teacher droned on about something that I had covered already at L.A. I was studying Angela, and since she seemed nice, I decided to invite her to a girls' night out at Port Angeles. Charlie had called earlier and said that he would be going out of town for a few days for some business thing, so maybe she'd even want to stay the night with me. As soon as class ended, I asked her.

"Oh, I don't know," she mumbled quietly.

"It'll be really fun! We could do some shopping, see a movie, maybe you could even spend the night at my place!"

Angela smiled and replied, "Okay. It sounds cool."

"Awesomesauce! I'll pick you up at your house after school."

"Sure," she agreed.

We went our separate ways then, and I headed to lunch. I wasn't feeling very hungry, so I just bought a bottle of water. The Cullens waved me over to their table and I sat down.

"Alice, Rose, do you want to come to Port Angeles with me and Angela? We're having a girls' night out," I said.

Alice grinned. "Definitely! We're going to have so much fun!"

Rose nodded in agreement.

I laughed, thinking about how heinous it would be for Angela to experience her first shopping trip with Alice Cullen.

Emmett stuck out his lower lip, pleading, "Can I come?"

"Uh, no. Unless there's something you want to tell me, you're a guy. And this is a _girls' night out_. So, sorry, but you aren't invited," I smirked.

He pouted, but didn't argue.

A few hours later, Alice, Rose, and I were at my house. We had just gotten there, and I wanted to change clothes and get some coffee before we went to get Angela. I put on an A.L.C. blue and black striped tank dress, a black Lindstrom jacket from The Row, Givenchy multi-strap bootie heels, and a silver Jennifer Meyer diamond wishbone necklace. Adding some Jill Platner Dovewing earrings, my party look was perfected!

We picked up Angela, who was wearing white skinny jeans and a green top with black ankle boots. She obviously didn't have anywhere near as much money as us, so I decided to treat her to a shopping spree. Angela climbed into the passenger seat and glanced back at Rosalie and Alice. They hadn't met before, so I introduced them.

"Maybe I should change," Angela worried when she saw how we were dressed.

I glanced over from the driver's seat and told her, "No need. We're going on a shopping spree!"

"Well, I didn't really bring much money."

"Oh, you won't need it anyway. I'm treating everyone."

They all started protesting, but I just them away. "No, really. My stepdad gave me a new credit card, and I'm dying to break it in!"

Eventually, they all just accepted that I was going to pay. We went to store after store after store! Angela didn't really want much because she didn't want me to have to pay for it, but, as I had hoped, Alice would have none of that. She made Angela get so much, I was sure she wouldn't be able to fit it in her closet. After we finally shopped ourselves out (or, at least, the humans of the group did), we found a restaurant that was nearby the mall we were at. Since it was just dark enough that Alice and Rose could walk around, we walked.

Suddenly, Alice laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"The guys followed us! They were upset about being left behind, so they just decided to spy on us," she explained.

Then we all laughed, even Angela. Rose abruptly stopped laughing and whispered, "There are six guys following us, and they look drunk!"

We looked, and there sure were. They stumbled over to us and started making rude and inappropriate comments. As they got closer, we got more scared. I knew Rose was probably flashing back to when she was raped and left to die when she was human, and that she would definitely want to rip these pervs to pieces.

"Stay away from us!" Alice warned them.

One of them laughed and got closer, slurring, "Aw, don't be like that, sugar."

Angela looked scared out of her mind, and Rosalie was about to attack, so I said, "If you get any closer, I swear you'll regret it."

A big one tried to grab me then, but I snapped a roundhouse kick to his jaw. He yelled out cuss words and then they converged on me.

"I've got this," I told the girls.

"Are you insane?" Angela hissed.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

I kicked and punched and ducked and flipped until they were all on the ground, and when one tried to get up, I kicked him in the face.

"Fuck! I tore up my heel on your damn face!" I berated him.

I thanked my martial arts instructor mentally while Angela, Rose, Alice, and the Cullen guys that had showed up just a couple minutes ago all stared at me open-mouthed.

I grinned, slipping off my heels. "Did I not mention that I'm a black belt?"

They all shook their heads in silence.

"Oh. Well, I am," I informed them nonchalantly. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the car real quick and get a new pair of shoes, since that clusterfuck ruined these beautiful $740 heels. You guys go on ahead to the restaurant."

"Okay, see you there," Alice chirped, having put herself together. "Jasper, go with her."

He nodded and started walking with me. It was about a mile and a half away, so I anticipated a long, painful walk, since I was barefoot.

"Wow. That was incredible. There's more to you than meets the eye," Jasper remarked.

I laughed. "Yeah. Yeah, you could definitely say that. So, what part of 'girls' night out' don't you guys get?"

His mouth quirked up as he said, "Emmett's fault! I swear! He was depressed about not getting to-"

"Ah! Damn!" I had stepped on a sharp rock, though, thankfully, it didn't break the skin. Flowing blood really isn't a good thing to have when accompanied by a vampire.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine, fine," I grimaced. "Another mile to go."

"I've got a better idea," Jasper said. Faster than I could blink, he had picked me up bridal-style and was running at vampire speed towards my car. We got there in three seconds.

"Christ! Warn me next time, will you?" I exclaimed.

He chuckled and set me down. I pawed through the bags and found several pairs, but couldn't decide.

I turned to Jasper and held up my top choices. "What do you think? Proenza Schouler buckle ankle boots, Christian Louboutin studded spike high tops, or Jil Sander multi band sandals?"

He looked kind of uncomfortable, but replied, "Uh, the boots?"

I rolled my eyes and put them on, telling him, "Good choice."

After I put the other shoes back, Jasper said, "I'm warning you, I'm about to pick you up and carry you to the restaurant."

Giggling, I said, "Thanks."

This time, he picked me up at human speed, and I enjoyed every second of it Jasper could probably feel my pleasure, but he didn't say anything about it. The others were seated at a large round booth when we got there, so I slid in next to Emmett. Jasper sat next to me. The waiter gave us a chance to look at the menu, then came over to ask what our order was. Angela and I were the only ones that got anything, though.

"Aren't any of you hungry?" she asked shyly.

"Oh, they're on this special health food diet where they can only eat at certain times a day. This, unfortunately, isn't one of those times," I quickly inserted.

"Ah."

Conversation flowed easily, and we spoke comfortably until our food was ready. I had ordered mushroom ravioli and Angela got chicken Parmesan. It was a little weird, having the Cullens just staring at us while we ate, but I guess that it was preferable to them eating too. The night started coming to a close, I was kind of tired. Actually, really tired. So was Angela. Alice wanted to ride with Edward on the way back, but there were only four seats in my car. We eventually decided that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper would ride in my car, and Angela, Alice, and Edward would ride in Edward's Volvo. Angela and I were both pretty much dead on our feet by the time we were ready to go, so I climbed into the backseat of my Porsche and told Emmett to "be really fucking careful" with my car after I finally agreed to let him drive. Rose sat in the passenger seat, so Jasper sat next to me in the back. I was secretly glad that the back was so small.

About two minutes into the hour-long drive, I fell asleep, leaning on Jasper's shoulder. Right before I lost consciousness, I inwardly smiled, thinking, _I could stay here forever..._

**Okay, so it took me forever, but I finally composed a halfway decent chapter. Sorry again for taking so long. I'm getting some pretty bad writer's block, so any suggestions would be welcome. Please please please review, because reviews make me so incredibly happy! Just a little hint here, the more reviews I get, the more likely I am to update soonly. ;) **


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